#maybe a rendered drawing of her is coming soon

[edgy-dragon-trash]

Little Sylvia sketch attempt

Every day I get Malistaire. Like I get it. I would have done the same, you would have seen me on the Spiral news.

[door-insurance]

Ahm, hello Life is Strange fandom- I got an announcement

I have been working on my own LiS fan visual novel

This is VortexVN,

You play as Victoria waking up from a hangover with no memory of the week prior, you are tasked with piecing together what happened between her and one of the 4 love interests.

And of course the love interests are:

-Chloe (Chaseprice)

-Max (Chasefield)

-Kate (Chasemarsh)

-Rachel (Amberchase)

The game starts with a quiz; you unlock a route by picking answers related to the character you wanna romance (they are very obvious)

It takes place in an AU where the events of LiS1 and BtS didn't really happen and there are no special powers, Victoria's still a bi tch- I guess that's her special powers.

Think of this game as a spiritual successor to Love is Strange by Team Rumblebee rather than Life is Strange 1

Gameplay so far is your typical point and click visual novel affair, you will be given options to explore rooms, examine objects and talk to other characters- the interactions will play a crucial part in how the game ends,

You can win the girl or get rejected or worse... It will depend on how Victoria carried herself throughout the game,

Mistreating certain characters may prove to be a dealbreaker for the love interest,

Each girl has two close friends in the dorm that you should not upset (I'll reveal who in the guide pdf)

This game is also perfect for Victoria haters as you can ruin her life

The game has its own journal system that will be different depending on who you're romancing, it also comes with a read button (I blurred most of the text so you can get curious and play the game)

Read button will display the journal content in Open Dyslexic font

In the demo you'll only get to explore Victoria's room and the dorm hallways and you'll get two encounters from Juliet (Showers) and Alyssa (Hallway)

VortexVN is still in development, I have finished part.1 of the project and will start polishing it soon- the initial build of part.1 will be available to play as a demo!

The cutscenes lack color and proper shading at the moment and you will find placeholders as well, the art style is all over the place- this will change after the polishing phase

Download links:

Mac and Windows

Web browser ver (I don't recommend that you play it on mobile, also the web version lacks animation and takes forever to load graphics)

programs used:

-Renpy (visual novel engine)

-Photoshop CS5 (Drawing/rendering/animating/designing)

-Clips studio (Texturing)

-tablet: XP-Pen Artist 13

Note: I'm not monetizing this project nor do I claim ownership of the Life is Strange ip, all materials and assets presented in this visual novel were either created by me or are royalty free- I did not lift anything from the games via data mining or by leaks

This game is not a response to or a gotcha at Life is Strange Double Exposure or Deck Nine, I didn't really dislike the game

Besides, I've had the idea of a Victoria centric fan game since the first LiS back in 2015

I'm open for feedbacks! You can DM me or reblog this with a review or something- maybe write a comment.

[bloodstainedsapphic]

teasing ellie williams | minors dni | modern soft dom!ellie oops to remember me by.

is the message you attached to the x-rated pictures you sent to ellie's phone. did you know what you were doing? maybe. but what if either one of you actually chose to end things here? then, sure, they could be taken as a lovely parting gift. you trusted her enough not to betray you every time you sent a photo of your fingers inside your lacy panties.

film yourself next time. that'd make a very pretty video for me

ellie sent back. a faint sigh escapes your lips upon reading her message, realizing that she had rejected your rejection. as if that's not exactly what you wanted. you can't help but fantasize about the consequences of your little act of rebellion. you can easily imagine ellie on the other side of the screen, probably biting her lip as she typed, fighting the temptation to preemptively dip her hand into her shorts.

knowing ellie, you could tell that her reply was more a front for her nerves than anything. normally she was all about that awkward charm, but since she knew you enjoyed pushing her buttons sometimes--all to catch a rare glimpse of a slightly mean, cocky ellie--she was happy to bring it out when you pulled stunts like this. it was clear that all those little tantalizing messages were calls for attention, and ellie was eager to give you exactly the trouble you wanted.

——————-

"poor, needy girl couldn’t just ask me to come over; had to act up instead," ellie murmured into your ear, her voice husky with desire. She had one elbow pressed into the mattress to prop herself up enough to loom over you. her gaze wandered admiringly over your form, which was beautifully splayed out beneath her.

mere hours into the night after sending her that risky text, ellie came knocking at your door. the pretty auburn-haired girl charmed her way into your room, all the way to your bed, ready to handle your insolence with a much more.. hands-on approach. her slender fingers raked those same lacy panties to the side, teasing your slick folds, reenacting the scene you had so considerately presented her in those pictures.

ellie had learned your body well enough to maneuver your most sensitive spots with ease, drawing out pathetic whines and enthusiastic moans as she pumped her fingers inside of you. it proved difficult for her to hold back her own small noises while watching you unfurl so quickly from her touch, especially after all those theatrics. you really were just too cute.

"s'just a joke, els…" you whimper in a feeble attempt for mercy, which only earns a wicked smirk from ellie. instead, her movements remain unyielding, only slowing her pace whenever you teeter too close to the edge of your climax to keep you desperate.

"'just a joke', hmm? i think you knew exactly what you were doing," ellie purred back, laying the taunts on thick. "you wanted me to come and touch you like this, huh? you want me to make you come, baby?" she quickened her thrusts, curling her fingers to repeatedly hit the spot she knew would make you see stars. with dark satisfaction, ellie watched your body finally succumb to the pleasure, your hips bucking against her hand, walls clenching around her digits. you let out that distinctive moan that ellie could never get enough of, prideful in knowing only she could make you feel that good.

"good girl, coming just for me," ellie coos, now pressing soothing, tender kisses to your temple. she hadn’t removed her fingers, however, which continued to slowly fuck you through your climax. "now. what was that about this being the last time?"

"s'nothing.." the truth stumbled from your lips as your entire body was rendered pliant from one mind-breaking orgasm. ellie drank in the sight of you looking so artfully undone; but she wasn’t planning on letting you off the hook so soon.

"gooood girl. now, you can take another for me, yeah?"

[sparklykat-hideoutenthusiast]

I've seen people doing an intro post so I suppose I should do the same right? I have no idea how to do this, I'm just winging it :3

INTRO POST TIME WOOO!!

[last updated: sat dec 7th at 7:18 PM 2024]

(I update this often, a reread of it every now and then would be greatly appreciated!)

Maybe every week/month depending on your time scale? ↑

Follow my other blog where I reblog a bunch of stuff and things for the full experience of my personality and interests! @eckos-reblogs :3

@everytime-i-reach-the-postlimit ←Exactly as the name entails

@nature-is-mystical ←is my other random blog that you can follow as well if you want.

that blog is just for reblogging nature stuff and posting nature stuff. (Occasionally rhymes come with it ig)

side blog for fanart!: @sonar-fanart-hall

I'm always working on making reference sheets for OCs ^^

Chill dude side blog: @cool-dudes-official

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏��﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

I will continue to edit this, probably for the rest of time to get it right since I'm a slight perfectionist lol

Hello! I've been an artist for around 5 to 6 years, and I still kinda suck at it! I do traditional art normally but I've been branching out to digital art as well. I mostly draw animals, anthropomorphic creatures, creatures in general, whatever beautifully ugly faces I can come up with, and sometimes human faces!

I classify as a furry but do not reblog a ton of furry stuff nor do I have a fursuit. I just like drawing and seeing anthropomorphic animals :3

Furries, Therians, anyone of lgbtq+ community (including ace people cuz apparently there's a debate about that), weirdos (but NOT in the gross way), and more are welcome on my blog! :3 ❤️ (you're kinda automatically welcome if you're kind anyway lol but whatevs :3)

Tags and stuff! To help you find stuff in my blog better through search :)

#Ecko draws -exactly as is obvious, it will be for when I make art, digital or traditional.

#Echo Rambles -For posts of mine that include mainly me talking about random stuff

#Echo rants - for when I rant. Similar to #Echo rambles but different..

#Echo answers - For when I answer asks!! :D

#The Clowder seeks - For when you guys ask me stuff!

#Mama Change - For when I mention my mom. (Her name is change..or it's more of a nickname but no one calls her by her actual name except for professional/job people like a dentist or something)

#Echo asks - For when I ask questions :3 lol

#Eckos moots <3 - for interactions with moots, obviously 🙄 (I love y'all sm)

#Ecko irl - me irl

My main Media for traditional art is, pens, pencil, gel pens, paint markers (posca) and normal markers! I hope to soon branch out to ink! (Maybe one day you'll get to see some watercolor stuff from me. It's not that good of watercolor art and I don't enjoy painting too much tbh)

Anatomy You say? Don't know her 😔

If you are interested, I do art requests! It's not guaranteed to be good or to be done quickly but I will try my very best every time. You can even request multiple times if you'd like! Like a ton of times! I really don't mind!

You can also request art of fandoms I'm not in but make sure to give me a good reference or the drawing will look off :3

Art requests open until further notice.

If there's something I don't mention here that you're wondering if I can draw or not, give me an ask in my inbox and I'll let you know! (Pls, I'm friendly I swear)

You can also dm me if you'd like but I'd prefer the askbox instead (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

I can't draw/don't want to draw: items, anatomy, bodies (unless you want the equivalent of a boxy stick figure), rendering, lighting, dragons (without a reference), romance/NSFW (no, just no.), hands, human legs (for the life of me 😭), +more

I can draw/like to draw: faces, animals (mostly cat related ones but you can request any animal and I'll at least try to draw it.), different hair styles (only with a reference), eye bags (I think they're pretty lol), dragons (only with a good reference), gore (not the best at it but I'll will try my best to make something nice and bloody for ya!), +more!

My name is Ecko and it's my preferred name but you can refer to me as Melleona (my OC) or by a nickname as well if you'd like! (just please ask me first if you want to use a nickname as I'm bad with setting boundaries.)

My pronouns are She/Her but feel free to refer to me as it/it's! :3

Speaking of which! This is my OC, Melleona:

She is 14 years old, she is introverted and blunt but also shy and insecure. She has anxiety, dealt with a bit of depression, and she's very casual as well as lazy (like me lol)

She's half Cat, she has greyish blue eyes (not visible in the drawing), slightly blueish black hair that's long enough to reach her ankles, she has a mushroom themed party hat, and some wicked whiskers!

If there's anything you'd like to ask me about her or ask her, go ahead and ask away! I love anons and normal asks! ❤️❤️❤️ (There is a slight filter on the drawing. I'll edit this later and put her color palette below ❤️)

I'm a minor! Mind your words, don't send me gross/weird asks or messages. (I've already had a few people message me asking for my age, a picture of me, and my sexuality. No, I will not be sharing my real appearance on here. my age? Minor, that's all you need to know. My sexuality? I don't know and you don't need to know either, respectfully ^^❤️)

IDC if I post something slightly suggestive or that says I know about 18+ themes. I posted it, not someone saying something to me of those themes. Sure, I understand the stuff but It really doesn't matter now does it? It just means I understand enough to know you shouldn't be saying that stuff to me. (Boundaries ✨)

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I do half-curse in posts from time to time. I do censor it a bit tho, like "f7ck" for example. Hope ya don't mind (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）

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I'd appreciate it if people reblogged my art!

I don't appreciate reposting it however.

Just in case you don't know what the difference between reposting rather than reblogging: it's when you (typically) take a screenshot of the art, and then repost it on either Tumblr or a different app rather than hitting the reblog button!

While this has never happened to me personally, I do feel like it's worth mentioning.

Oh, and, don't under a circumstance feed my art to AI. I can forgive reposting my art. I put out there for people to see not to get fame from it but under no circumstances EVER will I allow feeding my art to AI. It is not human. It does not make art.

AI artists don't exist unless it's used ONLY to assist with a process that is still mostly YOUR OWN SKILLS THAT YOU'VE CULTIVATED OVER TIME. AI is NOT art but it can HELP with art.

ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ-ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ-ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ-ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ-ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ

don't dm asking me to commission from you. like said before, I don't have money bc I'm a minor + I don't like being pestered for me commission you. talk to me like a person, not an ATM.

If I want to commission someone, I will dm them and even then, I'm most likely to commission art from a friend to support them.

I support the lgbtq+ community! And I don't discriminate against race. I really shouldn't have to say this. (˘⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠˘)

I will respond to money asks with "!!" And that's it. I don't have money and even if I did I don't got any money to spare. I'm broke and struggling too. Not to mention, I'm a minor and can't just go out and get the stuff. I hope you understand and I wish you all the best!❤️❤️❤️

Some games and shows and stuff I like:

Shows and stuff: Rick and Morty, adventure time, lost in space, bsd (never watched it but I've seen enough of it on the Internet to know a bit about it. Very interesting :3), Some of the Life Minecraft series, httyd, doctor who, and more!

Games/fandoms: Yonder(Yonder Cloud Catcher Chronicles.), Minecraft, the Stanley parable, tiny bit of South Park, cotl, MLP(childish I know but I don't care. I love them), creepypasta, SCPs, Trevor Henderson's creatures (mostly cartoon cat), plants vs zombies, fran bow, little misfortune, and more!

Stuff and things (hobbies?): Art, apparently I make rhymes now too??, rollerblading, climbing, Hiking (iffy), sleeping, being annoying+lazy, doom scrolling, interacting with people, and more!

(I'm not really in any fandoms really..kinda like on the edge of being in each and every fandom I come across..)

General facts about me! Yippee!

I think eye bags and wrinkles are pretty (odd, I know lol), I live in a bus (not decked out like you see on social media though. We just live in a bus lol), I live with my ma (my dad is my step dad and he and my mom just broke up psooo ye), I blank out a lot and just stare at people for no reason (which freaks them out), I have greyish blue eyes (a long with some, I'm pretty sure permanent eye bags lol), I get energy right before nighttime mostly (and then it disappears as soon as it reaches around 11 pm to 12 am), My favorite color is maroon (and any type of blue along with orange and yellow and forest green..mostly just comfy vibe colors tbh but maroon is a fixed piece), my favorite animal is a cat (although I have a dog. Muffin doesn't count as a dog, she's practically human. Apart of the family.), and more!

(I'll update this as I go)

[I will block as I see fit]

Do not interact with my blog if: You're racist, you only or mostly have sexual themes on your own blog (I apologize but it makes me uncomfortable. Have some other interests and it might make me less uncomfortable ^^), if you in general just enjoy hating on people for no reason (I like to make my area a safe space for people) if you're a Zoophile (No explanation really needed but animals can't consent.) (more will be added later when I think of what to add)

Don't dm me unless you're a moot or you say your intentions within the first 1-3 messages. (moots that I've interacted with can send me a dm unprompted with stated intentions anytime they'd like. Special privileges ✨)

(Added a specific part of that bc a moot felt they were making me uncomfortable by having such themes on their blog. I didn't really realize at first but yes that does make slightly uncomfortable but I don't really care as long as you have other interests. If s3x is your only interest, it weirds me out to have those types of people interact with me. Just know you're all good moot, you're not the type of person I was aiming it at. There are other people that just don't think about anything else but $ex and relationships that creep me out and you are not one of them. ^^❤️)

Things about me, (random stuff): I am cringe from time to time, my fav colors are maroon and any kind of blue, orange is nice too though,

I appreciate any and all constructive criticism. IDC if it sounds rude and might hurt my feelings, TELL ME so I can help better myself and my blog! I'm dum and will most likely not notice I'm doing something weird or anything :P <3

•Send me asks! Wanna to hug one of my OCs, Want to slap the sh1t out of one of em, Want to introduce me to a new (or old) fandom I don't know of but you think I might be interested in, Want to say hi, Want to give a music suggestion, send an ask!

I LOVE interaction and if possible, I want to be busy with asks at all times so send a ton!

•Moots:

@theachskid @voidsweirdthoughts @burningbutter @rafrfr @rateater2000

@footlongdingledong @ender-the-insomniac @thistlebriar @rspoetry @virtualcroissantflapcolor

@jawdoesstuff @storythesilly @yourfavoritecuntist @chamber-of-voices @i-draw-things

@2oo7xddd @catsreblogging @silli-billy15 @totally-not-a-commie @khloethecatsworld

@1nd13gh0st @cur1os1tyk1lledme @nonbinaryriverclan @ilove-fanart-and-lore405 @hermitchild

@my-mom-named-me-duck @hermitchild

@williamsart12345 @lilytheaxoltollover @twobraincellsremaining @nn-the-doodle @emmajasonartz

@bugba-bugbee @railway323 @xho-the-scribble @asqadia-banthen @nasthesilly @ceaselessbackflips

@the-anxious-acrobat @justuravghazbin @callmekiyo24 @maybeyoullfindthissomeday

@sensehumor ♥️

+any future moots/one's I might have forgotten (I hope I wouldn't forget anyone 🥲)

If you don't like being tagged in tag games, let me know and I'll move your name over here cuz I copy paste the ones above for tagging in stuff: (nothing here yet!)

Moot side blogs: @thistlebriar-tags @my-dad-named-me-goose @mysterious-other-being @

Btw, moot/friend privileges: tagging me in whatever the heck you want, sending nonstop and possibly annoying asks, dming me and having a convo at random, +more! I love all y'all and am more than happy to interact ❤️

My art ↑

Yippee!! That's all for now folks! ❤️

I'll update this whole thing as I go, any questions, just send an ask and I'll update this with the answer as well as you know- replying in general lol :3

I seem incredibly childish in this intro post and my general posts but do know, I am over 12 years of age lmao 🤣

I'mma keep some notes here as well... mostly for tone stuffs cuz I can't remember these 😭

/lh = lighthearted

/j = joking

/hj = half joking

[cissyenthusiast010155]

heya, i absolutely love your writing. seriously, it’s amazing!!

so i was wondering if i could request a larissa scenario where the reader can shapeshift. i was wondering if they could do it in a semi-public area eg car sex or event bathroom. maybe have larissa tease them publicly? eg. stroking their thigh, maybe even sitting on reader (non sexual but still in a teasing manner).

it could go as: larissa has to go to an event, can bring wife so she does. she keeps teasing r all night long and then r just can’t take it anymore.

Hi hi hi anon! Absolutely!! I love this idea 🥰 Thank you for your request, and thank you for your patience. Hope you Enjoy ♥️

Dinner Party Deals ~Larissa Weems xFem Wife!Shapeshifter!Reader

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!!, smutty smut smut, shapeshifting d!cks (g!p), Hand jobs, blow jobs, d!ck riding, car sex, restroom sex, semi-public sex, teasing, pet names, etc.

Enjoy (;

“Oh Darling, Please do come with me…” Larissa cooed, batting her eyes at you.

“To the Mayor’s campaign dinner party…?” You clarified, displaying your disinterest.

“Yes. It would be far more enjoyable with you there…” she promised, stepping closer to you and caressing your check, “And… I’ll make it worth your while when we get back home…” she husked.

Shivers ran down your spine as you gazed into her piercing blue eyes.

How could you deny this woman anything?

“Ok…” you managed to say, nodding in agreement.

Larissa then stepped back, clasping her hands together.

“Wonderful! Well, we’ll need to get dressed and leave soon if we plan to be on time…” the blonde exclaimed, then mumbled.

You nodded along and smiled.

“And one more thing, Darling…” she spoke, her tone becoming hushed.

“What…?” You curiously asked.

Larissa’s lips suddenly kissed yours for what felt like a fraction of a second, pulling away until she was mere inches from your skin.

“I want you packing tonight…” she whispered mischievously, before pulling away.

You blushed and nodded, rendered semi-speechless once again.

“I… alright.” You stammered.

Larissa smiled brightly at your agreement.

You two then finished your separate work, before you started getting dressed. You out on your go-to suit and waited for Larissa downstairs. You also shapeshifted your core as your wife had requested. Larissa then came down. She was wearing a stunning blue, wrap around dress. Your eyes couldn’t get enough. It hugged her curves in all the right way.

“Oh my…” you breathed out, your heart already racing “you look… breath taking, just beautiful…”

Larissa blushed at your words, coming over to give you a thank you kiss.

“Thank you, Darling.” She purred, “Although I’m sure you cannot wait to take it off of me later this evening…” she breathed huskily down your neck.

Chills ran down your spine at the blonde’s words. Sparks of electricity washed over you and right down to your currently very apparent member. You cleared your throat and regained your composure, and you were ready to go, trying to play your reaction off as nothing.

But Larissa knew she had gotten to you…

The drive wasn’t so bad at first. You were driving while Larissa gave you the download on who would be there. But quite quickly, it became harder and harder to concentrate as her hand began to wander and draw circle on your thigh.

“—And of course the Sheriff will be there, along with…” she continued, but your mind wasn’t paying much attention, as her fingers had toyed their way to your underwear line.

Your crotch was slowly bulging. It made you blush furiously, and Larissa smirked wickedly. But before Larissa went any further than teasing or you had time to start begging her, you had arrived. You had to take a deep breath and regain your calm before exiting the vehicle and entering the dinner party.

Larissa and you walked in together, arms linked. She led you around the party, introducing you to all the important and key figures that she thought you ought to know. And then it was time for dinner. You all sat down at the many tables. You and Larissa were sat with four other individuals at your table. The mayor got up to give his speech, which you originally had planned to listen to…

Before Larissa started playing scandalous footsie with you. Your breath hitched as her feet began to explore you legs, moving her touch higher and higher. Then she added her hand to your thigh again. The combination made you lightly dizzy and you had to bite your lip to restrain yourself.

And then the dinner conversation began… That brought a whole other level of challenge to the evening. And throughout all table conversations, Larissa never once let up on her under the table teasings. Her hand had traveled to you growing bulge at one point, nearly making you choke on your wine.

“Are you alright, Darling…?” Larissa concerningly asked you, placating her entire face in an innocent mask, while continuing to palm your twitchy, clothed member.

“I… Yes, sorry…” you choked out, trying to remember to take deep breaths, while giving your wife the side eye in warning.

Luckily, the dinner party soon moved into a lounge room with chairs and more open space. You took the time to breath and clear your head as best you could. You sat down, undoing your blazer button, with a sigh. But you didn’t get much peace, as the next thing you know, Larissa and a couple other high places people come in your direction. Without warning, Larissa sits on top of you.

“And this is my lovely wife, Y/N!” The blonde principal exclaimed, slightly tipsy.

They were all tipsy and didn’t seem to mind her bold action, viewing it as a sweet thing. But your eyes widened and you gulp, desperately trying to stay calm. Much to any of the other guests ignorance, Larissa’s ass was grinding down on your thrumming member. You could barely breathe. Your eyes were so close from rolling back, and a sinful groan was seconds from escaping your throat.

“Emm…” you coughed in interruption of the conversation that Larissa was carrying with the other guests, “You must excuse me. I need to use the restroom.” You explained with a tight strain in your voice.

Larissa’s eyes shimmered wickedly at your words, but she continued to to play innocent.

“Oh of course, Darling!” She said, immediately getting off of you, “Don’t mean to keep you” she said with a mischievous and knowing smirk.

You nod lightly, before scurrying out of the room. You walked the halls of the town hall, desperately looking for the restroom and thankfully finally finding it. Luckily it was a only stall, one person bathroom.

You shut the door and locked it, before immediately undoing your trousers, pulling out your aching dick, and stroking it a couple times. Your eyes rolled back and your sighed in relief. You had to bite your lip to keep quiet, but it was so worth it. Your pre-cum was already dribbling down your cock, getting your hands all sticky, but you could care less, as you worked yourself up with ease. Suddenly a loud rapture on the restroom door made you jump.

“Darling…” Larissa purred, “I know you are in there, let me in.”

You panted, quickly putting your dick away and cleaning up yourself before answering the door. With the door open, Larissa came forward, backing you into the bathroom. Her eyes raked up and down your frame. Your pupils were dilated. You were panting. Your cheeks were flushed, your hands clammy.

“Doing something…?” She teasingly purred, backing against the door to close it and lock it.

“I… just using the restroom…” you breathed out anxiously.

Larissa hummed skeptically in response. She began moving towards you again, trapping you against the wall.

“Your fly is undone, Darling…” she wickedly quipped, tilting her head and smirking, “Let me fix that for you…”

Oh Shit…

Before you could say anything else, your wife had already undone your trouser button, and her hand was deep in your pants, palming your throbbing dick. You let out a desperate groan in response to Larissa’s actions, your head smashing against the wall as you grinded needily against her hand.

“Ohhhh… Is this what you want…?” Larissa teased, now haven taken your member fully out and stroking it, not holding back anymore.

“God Larissa please…” you pleaded with your eyes screwed shut.

“Nuh uh uh…” she tutted in reminder, “Eyes open, Darling.”

You groaned once more and opened your eyes, meeting the blonde’s lustful, playful gaze. Her hand stroked your shapeshifted dick faster. And her face told you how much pleasure and how much she got off on this…

“Please please please…” you chanted, begging the woman.

“Alright… How about this…?” Larissa tauntingly purred in your ear, “I’ll let you cum once right here and in return… you suck me off in the car”

Your stomache dropped at her words. That was even more public… What if you got caught? You’d never had sex in the car before… But God, did you want to cum so badly!!

“Yes yes deal…!!” You groaned, nodding vigorously.

Larissa smiled big at your words. Her hand tightened its hold on your cock, making you have to bite down and muffle the guttural groan that ripped through your throat, as you came all over your wife’s hand. Your whole body was thrumming with pleasure. Your mouth hung open in satisfaction, and your dick went silent, obviously very satisfied with the outcome of the last 15 minutes. Shapeshifting back to you normal cunt gave you a relief and the ability to sigh in content.

“Excellent…” The blonde lustfully hummed, while helping you over and back down from your high.

The woman then helped you clean up, as well as herself, and the two of you went back out to the party. You two were quick to excuse yourselves when it seemed for to do so, as you both had more pressing concerns. Larissa eagerly led you by hand back to the car. You both got in, breathless.

By now, you could see Larissa’s apparent bulge… You gulped and stared wide eyed the woman sitting in the driver seat next to you. The blonde looked at you expectantly, but when you didn’t do anything, she took matters into her own hands. She easily picked you up and placed you at her feet, slipping her dress up to her thighs, revealing that she wasn’t wearing any knickers… As well as her own apparent dick.

You instinctually licked your lips at the sight. You got up on your knees and immediately licked a stripe from the base to the tip, catching some of her salty pre-cum. Larissa’s head flew back almost violently, as she let quite the sinful moan slip from her lips. You stopped licking her cock to remind her to keep it down.

“Shhhh, Darling… I like you better with a mouthful of my cock…” Larissa groaned.

You nearly moaned at your wife’s words, your own cunt starting to collect slick. You then took the blonde’s dick into your mouth all the way, in one fall swoop. You nearly chocked at its size.

“Breathe, Sweet girl…” Larissa reminded you, followed by a desperate, guttural moan, “God—! You look so pretty sucking me off…!!”

You moaned in response, starting to bob up and down on her dick. Larissa’s hand weaved into your hair, pushing you down only further. You remembered to breathe many times, as the woman nearly brought you to the chocking point many times, guiding you in a brutal pace. Larissa breathed heavily, at this point, jerking her hips and fucking your mouth sloppily.

“D-darling… Mmmm gonna cum…!!” Larissa groaned loudly.

You groaned in response, only quickening your pace, and encouraging the blonde to let go. Larissa came with her loudest cry yet, squirting her hot seed into your mouth. You licked the woman clean, as she slowly gathered her bearings. She eventually released your head from her vice grip. You then looked up at Larissa, mouth full of cum.

Larissa chuckled, bringing one of her fingers to your chin, wiping the excess cum off of it and stuffing it in your mouth. You moaned at the action, and she chuckled.

“Swallow. Don’t waste any of it.” The blonde told you.

You immediately obeyed and swallowed the entire load.

“Good girl…” Larissa breathlessly husked.

Your stomache sunk at her words. And your breath hitched.

“Yes…” you panted, “I’m your good girl…”

Larissa gazed down at you in delight.

“Take your trousers and knickers off, sweet girl…” she purred.

“I… um ok.” You stammered, getting up and shimmying your bottom half of clothing off.

When you were half nude, you presented yourself to the blonde. She smirked and picke you up, placing you on her lap.

“Such a good girl…” Larissa cooed, before lining up your slick cunt with her soaked cock and slowly sinking you down on her member, “But you’ll have to try and be quiet, Darling…”

You batted your eyelashes heavily and your eyes rolled back at her actions.

“Says the woman who just cried out because of my mouth… Ohhhhh…” you chuckled which quickly turned into a guttural groan.

Larissa looked at you, taking your words as a challenge. She then pulled you all the way down on her, abruptly bottoming you out.

“Oh Fuck GOD SHIT—!!!” You practically screamed, clinging onto Larissa for dear life.

The blonde chuckled in response, clearly happy with her work. She then began slamming up into you. This only made your cries of pleasure worse.

“You were saying…?” She eagerly teased.

“Shut up…” you grumbled, “and go harder.”

“My pleasure, Darling…” Larissa moaned into your ear.

~~~

Larissa Weems Masterlist

[megamagimugi]

Hey there, my friend! I saw you reblogging an artist ask game, so please allow me to make you a few questions 🥰

How about 2, 12 (I'm interested if you're willing to share!), 15 and 25? 💖

Sure thing, my friend!

Based on this:

2. How long have you been drawing?

Short answer: for as long as I can remember.

Long answer: I drew a lot as a kid (fun fact: I used to make quick uncolored pencil drawings to tell stories, kinda like storyboards; I would do it for hours and use so much paper that my parents eventually told me to draw on both sides😅). The fact that my older sister was very good at drawing - and I was very competitive - also motivated me to work hard and try to get as good as her. Then I drew less often in high school and in my first college since I had less time and was focused on schoolwork, and then started doing it more often again as I now study graphic design and would like to maybe become an animator if possible - the dream job of my childhood that I gave up on too early. When it comes to digital art specifically... I got my tablet, the very same one I use to this day (Wacom Intuos 4), for Christmas when I was about 15 or 16. Because it was so hard for me to learn how to draw digitally, and like I said I soon started spending less time drawing in general, sometimes I didn't use my tablet for long periods of time. That, of course, eventually changed into using it nearly every day.

12. Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

Yes, it's okie dokie to ask!

...Or did you mean you wanted to know right now?

In which case, well, it depends on the medium and the specific piece since I don't always do my art the same way. Generally in digital art, for the characters I like to do a rough sketch first, then either a cleaner sketch or lineart (I rarely bother to do both, even in animation - unless my initial rough animation is like... really rough and basic, just to get the feel of the motion). Then I do flat colors, often on separate layers, and then shade/render each part. Or I do the whole character minus the sketch on one layer, it really depends. For example, I did Mario and Luigi both on one layer in my Brothership repaint/wallpaper, other that the yellow glow on their hands. For backgrounds... it really depends, but I usually build them up layer after layer, from general shapes to details, like a normal painting. Of course, I use some sort of sketch for most of them too, unless I don't need it because the BG is very simple or abstract. If I don't want my sketch to be visible, I basically just remove it and refine the parts that look bad without it, sometimes adding some brush strokes imitating lineart in some places. Happens to both characters and backgrounds. I use different brushes to create different effects, but in the majority of my works I've been sharing on here, I only really use a hard round pressure opacity brush for both the final sketch and rendering.

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete?

This one is always tricky to answer (yes, I've been asked this before by some classmates). Uh, several hours? It's really hard to tell exactly simply because I rarely just sit down and complete a whole piece in one go. Unless it's just a simple sketch/doodle. So in reality my average pieces often take me a few days.

25. Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

There's one piece of advice in Richard Williams' fantastic book The Animator's Survival Kit that I don't think I'll ever be able to heed. It's this one:

Sorry but no, I do almost everything with music. It makes things more enjoyable and ironically makes it easier to focus in the long run. So, definitely drawing with music💯😁

Thank you so much for the ask, @silenzahra!😊

[thelyingjoke]

mashed my 2 favorite games together because from that mere passing reference i made to the other one last week i could Not stop thinking about it. so here. danganronpa v3 crossover with dialtown: phone dating sim :)

the premise of dialtown is that everyone has an object head, with default Men having Phones and Women having Typewriters, but they can also be swapped out for any other object if someone wants to for whatever reason, like for identity purposes, disability accomodations, jobs, etc. i Highly recommend it!!! it's a very lovable and bizarre game (and i mean it when i say bizarre. just look at the description on steam) and it's only 8 dollars, as well as also having a free demo that has hours of content in it to see if you'd like it!!!!! (also a fun webquiz i got karen tell me who you got in the comments below /j) anyway advertisement over below is a lot of thoughts and art about how i think the v3 characters would fit into the world :)

the things i will do for dialtown (render a drawing)...disclaimer the characters do not Actually have faces. i just think they're cute and like drawing them :) anyway!

For Kaede, as pictured above, I think she'd have a piano keyboard head! She still plays normal piano (she's gotta get her fingers moving), but now she can play on the go! And she plays almost all the time. You can typically hear her before you see her. The music she plays often reflects her mood, and if something surprises or shocks her or something similar she plays a silly little key-slamming noise. I think that, when she had a typewriter head, she would have often been typing too, just as a fidgeting thing—but the constant dings and clicking of the keys would have been too loud and annoying to others, and it would waste a lot of paper. So she got a piano head instead! It suited her a lot more and was more bearable to be around! Not only that, but now she can also play piano duets by herself (though she sometimes thinks it feels lonely and wrong to be the only one playing a song meant for two).

i started to get tired after that drawing so i didn't do many others, and rantaro was the only other one i shaded, so i will talk about him next!

Rantaro changed his head to a GPS shortly after his first couple of sisters went missing and he dedicated himself to adventuring in order to find them. I think his old head was a smartphone, since his family is rich it would be a status symbol, but while it did have more functions and would certainly house a GPS within itself, it would also be much harder to repair, thus where the status symbol part comes in. He could afford the healthcare fees required to repair it if it ever got damaged, certainly, but if he were ever caught in a tough bind he wouldn't necessarily be able to get to any medical professional skilled enough to handle it. So he switched it out for an older model of a GPS, to make any repairs that would need to be done much easier, and maybe even possible to do on himself if he had to. Some of his sisters would put stickers on his head. Most of them are faded and breaking away now, but he won't ever take them off.

i was running out of energy at this point so this and one other thing are the last things i drew (though i still have lots to talk about!)

Let's talk about the silly goober on the right first :) It's The Guy!!! D.l.C.E. in this universe stands for Dialtown league of Clown Enthusiasts (the I is secretly a lowercase L). They are a secret group of people that believe in clowns and plan to bring them back from extinction by participating in clown activities themselves. Their current mission is obtaining enough money ($4) in order to hopefully summon Frongles the Clown to them (by calling him on the phone). Nobody believes them yet, but Kokichi is certain that they will soon. He would love to masquerade as an evil supreme leader and cause mischief all around town, which he does, but unfortunately for him those roles are already both fulfilled by two other people (Mayor Mingus and Little Billy), and no one likes a copycat. His main concern right now, aside from the clown thing, is simply to entertain people in the best ways he can. Pretty much anyone who lives in Dialtown would need that. If he can make people smile (metaphorically), that's the greatest success he can hope for.

And now for the fella on the left! That is Gonta! His head is a candlestick telephone, like Abel—similar to Rantaro, it's a status symbol, though in a different way. But Gonta gets a slightly fancier one that Abel, because he is much cooler. I think in the Dialtown universe, it would be possible for reptites to exist. However, I think it's funner to imagine Gonta being raised instead by one of the cryptids in-game. I think Bigfoot would be the best one to do so. He lives deep in the woods and isn't believed to be real by most people, fitting with how the reptites are, and is just caring enough that I could see him actually manage to raise a child. For an explanation to that drawing: Bigfoot's name has been put down as the primary shareholder for a local restaurant business ('bear.', a reference to the developer's FNAF fangame series, Dayshift at Freddy's, which I also love hehe) because the owner doesn't believe he's real, and wants to collect the money himself. However, Bigfoot has somehow figured this out, and now regularly goes to the bank to collect his shares (which are given to him in the form of bananas). I think Gonta would sometimes accompany him on these trips :) I think he would get along great with Karen! They'd be besties! I think that every time Gonta goes with Bigfoot to collect bananas, he and Karen would exchange one (1) cool bug and horse fact each (if only there weren't a line, then they'd talk for ages). The power of two people with animal special interests... They'd also both appreciate each other being so honest (Gonta wouldn't have to lie to her about Bigfoot like he would with other people) and talking to Gonta is so much easier than most people for Karen. She doesn't have to watch out for sarcasm or worry about missing idioms, because Gonta doesn't use either. And he is always so respectful. And he gives her cool bug facts. What's not to enjoy?

I have considered, however, Gonta being raised by the other local Dialtown cryptid: Phonegingi. Realistically, I don't think this could happen; Phonegingi lives too close to the town, and has a lifestyle that no human could survive. However. The idea is VERY funny. I think if Phonegingi found Gonta, and decided to adopt him instead of kicking him or using him for child labor, and it somehow managed to keep him alive for 10 years, Gonta would be much weirder. That was the other thing I drew:

He'd still be Gonta, but, you know...being raised by the protagonist of Dialtown would mess anyone up.

those are all the things i drew for, but i still have thoughts about the other characters:

I think Kaito would be a Motorola StarTAC. Haha get it because Star. He also just seems like a flip phone kinda guy. I think Kokichi likes to terrorize him as a clown. Kaito would be scared shitless screaming "CLOWNS AREN'T REAL! STOP IT!!!" and Kokichi would simply say "Honk honk", leading to Kaito crying, even though he has no eyes. He would also, of course, get along amazingly with Norm. He'd be starstruck to meet not just any astronaut, but the only one who's ever been through a wormhole, and Norm would greatly admire Kaito's strong will and desire to do what's right.

And someone else who I think would have a fascination with Norm is Kirumi! Her interest in the Victorian era lends itself to having an interest in pre-Dialup heads, and Norm being the only person with one left would intrigue her, though she probably wouldn't say so out loud. As for her head...I feel like she could have something that relates to her job as a maid, considering how devoted she is to it, but I struggle to come up with something. I think it would have to be something practical, because I don't think she'd get her head changed unless it meant she could perform her duties better, but I don't really know what that would be. Another thought I have is keeping her as a typewriter head, but have it be the same model as whatever Marla Crown's was. Since she was the woman the typewriter heads were modeled after, with her and Callum being the sort of "Adam & Eve" of the Dialup world, it would be an example of how Kirumi is the "model woman", so to speak.

Maki would have a typewriter head, since her job is supposed to be inconspicuous, but she might have a hidden compartment to keep weapons, or something like that.

Tsumugi I think would have a small flat screen TV head. And she's the One who I think in-universe would have a face that shows up onscreen. It's a little funny—she says she's plain but has possibly the least plain head out of anyone in the group.

Korekiyo would have a hybrid head. The top, visible part would be a phone, and underneath the mask would be typewriter keys.

Miu would definitely have one of her own inventions as a head. Maybe the one that lets you work while you sleep? She gave herself the surgery, for sure.

Angie's an interesting one, because God does actually exist in Dialtown, and he is nowhere near impressive. Angie wouldn't be from Dialtown though, so she wouldn't know that. I feel like she would have a special head, but I don't really know what it is. Possibly one of her artworks? But then, people would keep passing out whenever they see her... It would be interesting to see her interact with Dialtown's God, though. Seeing his absolute apathy. Would she care? Would she deny that he's actually God, like Norm? I honestly have no idea, but it's a fun idea! I think she would creep God out. He doesn't exactly have much desire to be worshipped, especially to that level. The freaky knowledge she does have would scare him, too. Where did you learn those people's family members?!?! ...Maybe she's a void-gazer. Maybe the one she calls "God" is a different thing entirely.

Everyone else I don't have much thoughts on, I think they'd have default heads.

And one last thing—how I think Kokichi would get along with Dialtown's main characters, because of course I have to give him more relevance:

Phonegingi: It would go feral if Kokichi brought up his clown schtick in front of it. Potentially to the point of violence. It refuses to believe in a world where clowns could exist. (My personal thought is that Phonegingi is biologically a clown, and is in denial about this, blocking out all the memories. Kokichi would not be spared its wrath.)

Randy: He would be terrified of Kokichi. He would think "oh fuck, this is it, this is how I die, at the hands of a clown—" when Kokichi so much as approaches him. If Kokichi was not in clown getup, he would still be terrified, it would just take until Kokichi said a word to him, if Kokichi used his usual attitude. I think it would be like a Mikan in UTDP situation though—once he realizes how much of a wet puppy Randy is, Kokichi would actually be kind to him because he's so sad and his life is such a mess, it's not fair to kick him while he's already down. He'd try to get Randy to stand up for himself more often.

Oliver: He would think Kokichi's a blast! They'd have fun being silly little guys with each other! Kokichi would go off on a tirade about his secret evil organization, and how he's a liar, and Oliver would go "Groovy!" They're both a bit freaky. Oliver's also an orphan, who is not at all bothered by the fact that he is an orphan because he has such a swag found family, and I think they could find common ground in that. I think they have a likelihood to be best friends.

Karen: She would find him confusing and annoying at first. You can't get close to her without being honest, and I mean, lying's his whole thing. But I think, also, once she realizes he's joking most of the time, she'd actually find him quite funny, because of her secret love of absurdist comedy. And I think she'd actually notice that despite lying being his whole thing, he is actually very honest, in his own way. Because of her inability to read subtle emotive cues she's constantly putting everything she hears under scrutiny to see if it lines up with everything, and so she can actually detect lies quite easily. If something doesn't make sense, she will point it out and analyze it, and find the things that do make sense. Along with Kokichi's own willingness to admit he's a liar upfront before anything else, I think she'd actually start to almost appreciate this in a way, and be able to tell when he's lying pretty accurately. #Autism. I think this would kind of unnerve Kokichi in a way.

Bigfoot: Even as a clown-believer, Kokichi is still a Bigfoot-denier. This is one of his biggest mistakes and will be his downfall.

Norm: Kokichi wouldn't last long in a conversation with Norm before he threatens to shoot. Kokichi, not wanting to die, would run.

Mingus: Kokichi would be pretty insignificant to her. She thinks that this "DICE" organization is just some teens pranking everyone. Clowns went extinct years ago—no one would actually try to bring them back, right...? Kokichi knows better than to ever approach her, though he wishes to one day overthrow her. He really, really hates people like her.

Tango: Tango is nowhere near a main character, but I wanted to include him anyway. I think he'd be an enigma to Kokichi. Tango is just so incredibly positive and it baffles Kokichi because he means every bit of it. There's no lies. No hidden resentment, not even towards the people who would absolutely deserve it. Tango never has anything bad to say about anyone, and none of that is fake. If this was his DSaF counterpart, at least there's the explanation of how his programming won't allow him to be negative, but Dialtown Tango? He's just Like That! Kokichi can't believe that someone could be that optimistic, so he assumes he must just be really good at lying. Which disturbs Kokichi, because he has no idea what could be going on underneath that cheerful, empathetic, gullible facade. But he will never find out, because there is no facade. Scary stuff!

ANYWAY. that's all the thoughts i have right now. play dialtown

[obsidiennes]

Tatsuki has Associated Akuma References

So, Tatsuki has always been a bit... extreme... as her relationship advice to Orihime in chapter 4 tells us:

But it goes even further than that. She's a fighting game boss. Specifically, she has several references to Akuma (Gouki) from Street Fighter II Turbo and beyond.

This becomes apparent starting in chapter 15:

Akuma is known for his use of the Satsui no Hado, or Surge of Killing Intent. That is exactly what Tatsuki puts on display here. She then mimics one of one of Akuma's most famous poses:

It's notable that in the Viz translation, Keigo and Mizuiro's thoughts instead class her as a devil. The specific character used in the original Japanese is 鬼. Akuma's original name of Gouki is 豪鬼, which as you can see uses that exact same 鬼. These remarks are reaffirmed by the school principle, and you can see he uses the same character:

Much later, in chapter 411, this will be returned to by Don Kanonji, who in Japanese uses the same 鬼 as well:

Back in chapter 42, while defending Orihime, we get Tatsuki giving boss dialogue:

In Japanese, while laughing maniacally she specifically says, もラと強いの出てこいやア, which means something to the effect of "Please send me a strong one." This is not unlike a lot of Akuma's quotes, especially: "Weaklings! Is there no one worth fighting?"

What is especially interesting is that Akuma came into existence at least in part because of a hoax of a character named Sheng Long. You might know that name from Dragon Ball, and Shenlong is a mythical Chinese dragon. This is pertinent as the "tatsu" part of Tatsuki's name, 竜, specifically means "Chinese dragon", and is often rendered "ryū". While there is obviously also a character of that name, Ryu, who is also an enemy of Akuma and also struggles with the Satsui no Hado in the form of Evil Ryu, Tatsuki's continued association with the "devil" and her other symbolic linkages with dragons make Akuma the more appropriate connection, in my opinion. (This is doubly amusing as she physically resembles Sakura.)

What is most interesting about this connection though, is her mention of Tekken in chapter 424:

This is one of the only named product references in Bleach, if not the only one. But it gets stranger.

We know for a fact that the Xcution/Lost Agent arc is happening in April of 2003. Tekken 4 was released on PS2 in Japan on March 28, 2002. Tekken 5 would not be released until March 31, 2005. Although there is apparently an error in the translation here (it's more like, "The next one's coming out, so if you don't return it soon, I'll have a problem"), there is no actual conceivable reason for her to need it back as the next game wouldn't come out for almost two years.

Maybe this is just another error by Kubo. However, there's another possibility.

This chapter came out on November 8, 2010, after a brief hiatus following the end of the Aizen Saga. Earlier that year, on July 24, Tekken X Street Fighter and Street Fighter X Tekken were announced. And who has continued to appear in Tekken since then (most recently in Tekken 7) and refused to stay in his own universe?

Akuma.

I submit to you that Tatsuki's mention of Tekken, so soon after the real life announcement of a Tekken and Street Fighter crossover, yet so far from the release of a Tekken game in the manga's internal chronology, is a fourth wall-breaking reference to real life events made to draw attention to the jokes associating Tatsuki with Akuma, and not supposed to make us think the Tekken series had a completely different development and release schedule in Bleach's reality.

You are supposed to think of Tatsuki as a fighting game boss. And of course you are, as chapter 68 told us:

The imagined version of her opponent has a similar hairstyle to Karin, rival of Sakura, but a much more monstrous physique. That Tatsuki can compete at all, or do any of this at a meager official weight of 41 kg and such a thin build, let alone a broken arm, comes back to her implicit Satsui no Hado. This then goes a long way toward explaining her durability, as I've covered before.

While you can assuredly plainly see that she is something of a compilation of Street Fighter references, I think that Akuma is the strongest of these for the reasons I've laid out. (Another way of saying this might be that she looks like Sakura, and dresses like Ryu, but is truly most like Akuma.)

[mrsemilybartrum]

What if Arya didn't actually kill the REAL Night King, like in the show? What if she killed... the real king's son? What if Bloodraven made all this happen to become King through Bran? These characters are from A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin... but I thought of this plot twist.

Arya sat in her captain’s chambers as the storm raged outside her cabin door. Even though she could still see the lightning flashes and the crashing waves from inside her quarters, the way she slammed her door was as if she were slamming the door in the tempest’s face herself. A bold crack of lightning took her back to Winterfell and Bran sitting under the wierwood tree. She shivered at the thought, as if she could still feel the cold from the Ice King.

Ever since she slayed the Night King, she’s been having the same dream. It’s not every night, but it’s frequent enough that she now draws sketches of scenes that only exist in her slumber. Once, when Arya was asked by one of her crew members why she made sketches of such monstrosities, she just shrugged and said “Maybe drawing them out while I am awake will stop me from dreaming them when I am asleep.”

Arya argued that Targaryens were infamous for visions and dreams and prophecy. After all, she killed the Night King herself with the very blade that Aegon the Conqueror had his Ice and Fire prophecy etched into. She shivered and then shivered again when the thought came to her.

What if the Night King isn’t dead, really? If Jon could be killed and resurrected, why couldn’t the Night King be resurrected? But I saw him shatter into a million and one pieces of broken ice when I stuck him with the pointy end. I killed him. I brought an end to him, not the other way around.

Arya would often overthink things. She would overthink so much that she would get herself all but convinced the real Long Night is still to come, that she needs to turn her ship around and go back to fight with – more so for – Winterfell. That Bran would need her from King’s Landing. Jon, the rightful king, would need her skills at the Wall. Yet, still, she would not turn her ships around.

Her ship was built not long after the Settlement of the Seven Kingdoms. Bran the Broken, whom she only referred to as ‘Bran, my brother’, had issued its building and even made her exploration an official order of royal decree. Arya would be required to return with 75% of her treasures and wealth to render back to the Crown Estate. She kept the remaining 25%, of course. For which she would be paying her crew, continuing her missions, maintaining her ship, and anything else she saw fit.

Suddenly, Arya realized she must’ve fallen asleep. She was no longer in her quarters on her ship. She was back in King’s Landing, the day her lord father Eddard had been beheaded by the Bastard King Joffrey.

The Bastard Kings; Joffrey and Tommen had been called that by highborn and smallfolk alike after the Settlement of the Seven. It made no matter to her. She never got to mark any of their names off her list by her own rite; Cersei allegedly died under a shower of stones and in the arms of her brotherly lover, Ser Jaime. Ser Jaime died the same way as Cersei, allegedly.

She watched this time as she saw her father’s head hit the ground. She didn’t hide her face in the Traveling Crow’s chest this time. She watched with eyes wide open. And then, she saw it.

Her father wasn’t dead anymore. He was somehow standing right next to her as his headless body lay up on the stands. Arya looked to the right of her, where her dear father stood. His head was back on his body, but you could see the marks where the sword sliced it clean off. She couldn’t speak. She just stared in awe.

Just as soon as the joy hit, the dread hit, too. ‘Am I dead, father?’ she asked Eddard.

‘No, child, you are not dead. But you have been touched. You are now connected to the same network that Bran your brother uses. You keep having the same dreams, don’t you. It’s why I am here.’ Her father answered her.

‘But why bring me to this moment, now? Father, I do not want to see this again. Please, let us go somewhere else.’ She begged him, as she hated that day worst of all. He told her to watch again, but this time, he wanted her to use her mind and thought to turn the blade into soft wool.

She didn’t know if she could do that, and she wanted to ask Father if he had tried going to Bran before he came to her. Before she could, he answered her as if he could read her mind.

"Yes, I asked Bran. He told me to ask you for him. He said to ask you myself, and if I were strong enough and wise enough to get you to do your part, he said he would gladly do his part. Now, my beloved daughter, will you do your part?" this version of her father asked her.

She agreed to do her part, but she was suspicious and didn’t really expect to get her father back. Her mother had been turned into an evil undead woman bitter from loss and love. What would the trauma turn Eddard into?

She watched again as her father was about to be executed after a set of lies promised by Joffrey the Bastard King. As Ilyn Payne’s sword came swinging down on the back of Eddard Stark’s neck, it turned into a snake.

The viper bit Payne and Joffrey both before the Hound could pull Eddard out of harm’s way and cut off the head of the snake. A viper’s bite can be cured if the person has the antidote on them. It is known that women of Dorne wear crystals of anti-venom around their necks, next to their hearts. So do the men.

But this was King’s Landing, and by the time the closest maester could appear with an antidote, both the king and the executioner were now dead. Eddard Stark was freed after Joffrey revealed his true colors. His own mother counted it a blessing since it stopped the North marching down for war.

She smiled, and she felt strong. But something felt wrong… like a part of her soul was dying inside of her. Like a part of her humanity was just traded for this costly exchange. One that couldn’t truly happen. What was that crashing noise?

Arya must’ve drifted off. She woke up, clearly shaken after having the dream of her dead father guiding her to use magic to change the fate of time. She stood up to stretch after being cramped up in that captain’s chair. She walked over to the glass wall of wonder.

She could see the shadows of sea monsters and sharks alike in the far-off depths of the water. Making part of her boat with fused glass was her favorite feature. For Arya, it was like becoming her own version of a mermaid. She could see the ocean floor while being safe.

Occasionally, she would see something that looked like a humanoid fish person swimming beneath the glass bottom of her quarters. This was the only place in the ship, save for the kitchen floor, where there was so much to see. She would remember the stories of the Deep Ones and shiver.

She stood and stretched her legs and hands, and she clasped her fingers together to cradle the back of her head in her palms. What was she doing out there, really? She had been through so much, and she had no idea what even mattered anymore.

[ekkurea]

APOLOGIESS FOR THE LATE REPLYY (RENDERING ANON HERE AGAIN PHEW) YOURE KIDDING ME ? I LOVE LISTENING TO OFHER PEOPLE's journey and story and READING YOURS WAS KINDAA SWEET AND INSPORING IN A WAY.. i feel tge pressure to create tge perfect art and it gets to me ngl.. but reading your process and your answer about yk the whole ai art thing.. i dont see why i even i want to compare myself with that level when my own style is kinda still developimg.. youe so rite! no one can take away the process the understanding you have of the colors ... the way you see your art blooming.. even ai would terribly fail at capturing it and i think tahts why your drawinsg are just so perfect bec they hold that creative aspect .. THERE IS YOU IN THEM!! (your lamguage is not am issue i assure you trust me i am not a native eng speaker myself..) *self patss!! WE RE DOING GREATT!! )

also its nice to speak to artists here i have lile one artist to artisy comversation here except you and i enjoyy our talks!! (hope youre not too overwhlemed by work and taking caree)

Brand of personality, creativity, business����🏻☕️💞

Please do not apologize! Life is so fast and I am also sorry that I don't always have time to respond on time! I couldn't even find the time to draw orders in the last few days, because I had a lot of other work to do.

But I am really happy from every conversation we have🌸(*´◡`*)🌸Your words are so kind that my heart breaks! This is something I will try to keep in my memory forever💖

I hope that you direct such words of support to yourself🍵🌿💗 And I want to support you as well! I have not been in your shoes and I will never know what you are going through, but I will be rooting for youଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✨

I understand how suffocating the pressure of art can be. I had to reach the peak of my nerves to start being calmer and more rational about it. And even now, if I don't have a job at some point, I can panic. (Although in recent months, thanks to all my clients, my panic is pleasant and only because I'm not in time. You are the best!)

I will try to entertain you and maybe you will be interested. I follow the illustrator Alexandra Dikaia and she has always emphasized the importance of authenticity in illustrations, taught how to create own brand of personality and thus realize myself. I'm still a bad student who never finishes her homework, haha. But I come back to them when I get "lost". Everything has its time. Now, because of the war, she was forced to move to England and met Professor Gordon Hamme. He is the author of the practical course "How to build a craft business" (How to create a business for creatives). I haven't had the opportunity to buy this book yet to review it, but the recommendations say it's a great book to look at creative business from both the personal brand and business side. It sounds like a lot of fun. And it helps to look at art not only as something unattainable, but also as something that can work and how it can work. I would also like to create my own merchandise store someday, because I love it when illustrations become practical objects. Oh, dream…

I'm still fascinated to see that someone has my drawing hanging in their home or as their avatar or something! Friends, if you ever send me a photo of your room with my drawing on it, you should know that this photo will remain in my phone forever. Haha.

О! And if anyone has any recommendations for interesting and useful literature for creative people, please share, I'd love to read it and maybe someone else will find it useful too.

Thank you again for this message! Take care of yourself and have a good rest, I always enjoy talking to you! See you soon☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)chu

[hyperfixationstation128]

I didn't have time to draw the whole thing, but here's a snippet of a scene I wrote for my Dragon Age fancomic.

Just to catch you guys up to speed on what the story is about: Caleo Lazaar is a woman from our world who got Ikekai'd into Thedas. There, she uses her encyclopedic knowledge of the games and its lore to help its heroes achieve the best outcome. Angst ensues as she struggles to come to terms with the fact that she can't fix everything.

SMALL CONTENT WARNING for the description of a dead child.

The early morning frost glistened in the blue light of morning, sparkling and pure. The soft breeze the mountains so freely gave chilled Caleo as she sat upon the parapet, raising gooseflesh across her darkened skin. The sky was picture perfect. A canvas of pale blues, yellows, and faint strokes of tangerine, interrupted by streaks of white clouds rolling overhead, birdsong ringing in the morning sun’s arrival.

It was these moments where Caleo tried to find peace, hands warmed by her first - maybe second - cup of chai, and poorly shielded by the wind with her dupatta draped around her shoulders. Priya was still sound asleep, nestled among heaps of warm blankets in their shared room in Skyhold. It was a ramshackle room, originally caked in dust and filled with remnants of times long since forgotten. But, with hard work, it was slowly becoming yet another home for the mother and daughter. A place to rest and be kept safe after the attack at Haven.

Haven.

Caleo’s eyes squeezed shut. Images burned behind her eyelids of the devastation, the pure carnage of Corepheus’ red templar army. The cutting sword, the silenced screams, the roar of the avalanche. Guilt wrapped its gnarled fingers around Caleo’s throat, threatening to pry a sob from her lips. She had tried. She had tried so hard to warn them of the incoming onslaught to make it so they were better prepared. All for naught. She had tried not to let the guilt eat away at her, but in the silent moments where her mind might wander, her thoughts could only flash to the moment the fighting started.

She recalled the image of a small dwarven child. Older, but no larger than Priya is at her toddler age. Her eyes glazed over in a cold stare, small lips agape in a long since silenced sob, hand outstretched for what must have been her reluctantly retreating mother. Her heart lurched into her throat, pounding against her chest like some feral beast, and tears picked her eyelids. Such unwarranted death, such soul-rendering violence. It was almost too much to bear.

“Lost in thought?” A voice pricked her pointed ears. A familiar voice.

Swallowing her sorrow and straightening her spine, Caleo fixed a solemn expression to her face before responding. “Lost in memory,” She cursed her voice for wavering.

“About Haven?” Soft footsteps patted against stone in her direction. Soon, he was beside her. She refused to grant him her gaze.

Her grip tightened on her mug. “About the lives lost at Haven, yes.” A curt response, perhaps with more bite than intended. “You never get used to seeing so much death, no matter how often it might cross your path.”

Another image flashed behind her eyes. Two men, holding each other in a loving embrace, their blood staining the snow below them, painting the once peaceful mountainside town in the mixed red of devotion they held for one another. Caleo recalled seeing the pair often. Soft whispers in dark corners, a gentle graze of the hand as they passed by each other.

Yet two more lives cut short of what should’ve been a long and loving life together.

Solas continued, “Death comes for us all. It is the one thing we are promised in this world.” Caleo couldn’t help but turn her eyes upward. He stood there, tall and proud, violet eyes gazing off into the middle distance as if staring into the past. “And for all your efforts, it appears to be the one thing you cannot avoid bringing upon those around you.”

His words stung, and she flinched at them. He wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Death followed Caleo wherever she went. For all her warning, for all her pleading, still death came, and still it tainted the path she walked. His hypocrisy, however, was not lost on her. Caleo’s brows knitted together in a soft frown.

“Rather a bold claim from one whose hands are also painted red, Solas.” He stiffened slightly at her words but remained quiet. She continued. “But… you are right, if only slightly. No matter how hard I try to undo fate, still it rears its head. For all my efforts, lives are still lost from my interference.”

Finally, he turned to face her, and she seized this moment to make note of his features. His violet eyes, beset with thick, dark lashes, bore down on her soul as if reading the very fibers of her being to the truth within. She noted the angular shapes of his face, high cheekbones, and sharp jaw. The soft morning glow gently reflected off his bare head. From the very look of him in that blue light, he looked almost regal. He looked like someone she could almost trust - almost.

Silence fell between the pair once more as they held each other’s gaze. The tension of the unasked question pulled taut like a newly-used hangman’s noose. It swayed uneasily in the air; hung like dead weight. Here, in the morning glow, the soft blue light glinting in his eyes, his proud stature, it was easy to forget that he was not the man he pretended to be. He was something more, something ancient and waiting. Something dangerous. Yet, at the same time, it was easy for Caleo to understand how one might come to love him. His silver tongue and velvet soft voice lingered for hours after he’d finished speaking, and his mere presence read as soothing if restrained.

But silver as his tongue was, it was still forked and conniving.

“Then why do you interfere?” The question echoed in her mind as he spoke. It reverberated like drums in the darkness, bearing down on her like some great historic shame. Her eyes fell to the stoney floor.

After 10 years of clambering to ensure this world’s best outcome, she’d since forgotten the answer to that question. Perhaps when she was younger, she would’ve answered him quickly, wholeheartedly, and with the excitability only the naivety of youth could afford. When she thought about it for longer than two seconds, the answer seemed quite complex. She sorted through the myriad of possible answers.

‘Because I don’t want to watch innocents die?’

‘Because I’ve grown to love this world and the life I’ve brought into it?’

‘Because you’re wrong?’

‘Because… because…’

And then it dawned on her. The answer wasn’t as complex as she’d been led to believe it was. With a deep inhale and squared shoulders, she pushed herself to her feet, eyes stern and unyielding as she gave him her answer.

“Because I have hope.” She breathed, stepping forward to lessen the distance between them. “I have hope for a better future. For a world where no one’s autonomy is stripped away merely for the shape of their ears. For a world where those blessed with but a shred of magic can live as free as anyone else.”

She stepped closer, convinced she saw a portion of his resolve break. She released one of her hand’s grip on her mug and lifted her warmed palm to his cheek, her fingers sliding against his skin like they belonged there. He was cool to the touch and soft. She felt his jaw clench beneath his skin.

“Because I have hope…” She pulled her lips into a straight line, as if doing so would hold back the words she longed to speak.

‘Because I have hope you’ll change your mind.’

“Hope is but a frail bird in comparison to the devastation that awaits.” His hand lifted to hers, finger gently grazing across her skin. “Hope fades and becomes tarnished. Hope is easily disparaged and broken.”

She couldn’t help but smile warmly at him and shake her head, a wry chuckle escaping her lips before she had the chance to stop it. For all his wisdom, he just didn’t get it. “That is a lie.”

He paused for a moment, his fingers wrapping firmly around her wrist, “Yes…” His eyes squeezed shut and turned his head to bury his face in her palm. As if doing so would hide his shame.

She couldn't help the sympathetic smile that pulled at her lips. He really was such a frail thing. His hardened resolve was his shield, his armor, and occasionally, his weapon. From what memory recalled, she had known Solas to be a passionate man but sullen and righteous. With the facade he wore, he had managed to convince everyone around him that he was trustworthy. But armor can only withstand so many blows before cracking like opened ribs until it finally reveals the fragile, glass-like center of his being. In spite of everything he claimed to be, at the center of it all, he was revealed to be a wildly sensitive and deeply sad man.

“There is no shame in facing the truth, my friend.” She raised herself to her toes, her forehead now pressed flush with his. “There is no shame in admitting you were wrong.”

Solas’ grip on her wrist tightened slightly, and he tore himself from her, struggling as if fighting against her gravitational pull. “I am not wrong.” His words felt final, like the great force of wind as one fell from the sky.

Thinking about posting a small excerpt from my Dragon Age fancomic wherein Caleo and Solas discuss the world's impending end, the future, and the inevitable betrayal of their trust in one another.

It's a pretty big scene in the comics, and I'm honestly still working out their relationship, but I love it so much! The two know they're going to end up fighting. They know that one will most likely be killed by the other, but still, they talk and foster a friendship, albeit a contentious one.

[atinylittlepain]

Of Saints and Sinners - Chapter 9

Joel Miller x f!oc

series masterlist

Decisions are made for family and the future.

warnings | 18+ angst, descriptions of violence

a/n | the last entry in this series. thank you to all who read the very first thing i posted to this blog <3

...............................

Joel knew that there were a handful of kids that lived at the childcare center. It was usually only temporary, a couple in Jackson taking them in soon after they found themselves in need of a home. But there were some who couldn’t get placed somewhere new. Kids who had seen something they shouldn’t have, the world taking an early toll on them and leaving them damaged in one way or another. Maria had told him about it. Kids who would lash out like soldiers back from serving, flashes of their past dragged into the present rendering them reactive and violent. There were others who just wouldn’t speak, mute ghosts that needed looking after. 

He thinks about that conversation as he sits outside the childcare center, wringing his hands in his lap. She had left him on a bench on the playground and told him she’d be right back out. With Will. The little boy he saw her with all those months ago. He had never seen her like that before or after that time, the clear love that she had wrapped around the kid. It made him nervous. He knows this is more than important to her. It’s another wall coming down. Maybe one of the last ones.

His breath catches in his throat when the door to the building opens. She comes out first, but he can see that she’s holding a very small hand next to her hip. The boy stays close behind her legs as she walks over to him. Joel’s not sure if he should stand or stay seated, but they’re on him before he can really decide so he stays on the bench, pressing his palms into his thighs. She’s smiling, drawing Will to stand by her side even though he buries his face into her hip. Joel’s eyes are darting between her face and the mop of dark hair that’s pressed against her jeans. She brings a palm to the boy’s back, rubbing gently.

“Joel, this is Will. Will, this is who I was telling you about.” Joel clears his throat, realizing all too late that he hasn’t had a whole lot of recent experience talking to kids. His voice comes out a lot gruffer than he intended.

“Hi, Will.” He feels like a dope, but she offers him another reassuring smile before carding her fingers through the boy’s hair, encouraging him to finally look at Joel. He holds Joel’s gaze for a heartbeat, eyes quickly going to his pigeon-toed sneakers. The boy’s voice is small but clear.

“Hello.” She crouches down next to the boy, keeping an arm wrapped around his waist as she glances back at Joel. He feels like his heart is beating out of his chest.

“Do you remember what I told you about Joel, bud? How I ride horses with him?” The boy nods, glancing at Joel again. She smiles before looking back up at Joel.

“Will really wants to ride horses. He thinks they’re the coolest, don’t you?” Will nods again, the suggestion of a smile on his face. Joel can’t help a similar grin turning the corners of his mouth. He leans onto his elbows, dipping his head to try to catch the boy’s gaze. He’s trying to remember how to talk to a kid, really.

“You like horses, kid?” Not his best effort, but Will still nods, finally meeting Joel’s gaze.

“I read books about them, a-and I’ve seen pitchers of them.” Joel’s heart squeezes at his words. 

“You ever seen one up close?” Will becomes a bit more animated at his question, his eyes widening.

“Only a long time ago.” Joel glances her way but she’s looking at the boy with a hopeful smile. He’s not sure if it’s even allowed, but Joel’s already saying it.

“How’d you like to see some horses today?” The boy lets out a bright gasp that makes Joel laugh. Suddenly, his chest feels a lot lighter than it has in a long time. Will’s eyes dart to her, seeming to silently ask her if Joel’s for real. She offers him a grin and a nod.

“We can go see the horses, bud. I’ll just have to check with Laura, ok?” Will nods his head whip-fast, already trying to wriggle out of her arms. She fixes the boy with a firm but kind look.

“I need you to stay here with Joel while I go let Laura know, alright?” Joel’s stomach drops at her words. Sure, he was starting to do ok with the kid, but with her there as well. He did not feel ready to be solely responsible for him, even if it was for a few minutes. But she’s already walking back towards the building while Will hops up on the bench next to him. Joel tentatively rests one arm over the back of the bench, turning slightly towards the boy. He’s surprised when Will speaks first.

“Who are you?” Joel’s already at a loss. He opens his mouth to speak a few times, but only to shut it again when he can’t find a good answer. Will cuts off his floundering.

“Are you trying to take me?” Joel furrows his brow.

“What makes you ask that, kid?” The boy shrugs.

“People tried to take me before. But I won’t go without her.” Joel is still confused by the boy’s words. Had there been families in Jackson who had tried to adopt him? He clears his throat.

“Well, I’m not gonna take you, kid. I just wanted to meet you, she’s told me alot about you.” It’s a lie, but Will seems to accept that answer, looking down at his sneakers as he kicks them in the air.

“Do you shoot guns?” For a moment, Joel asks whatever mercy there is left in the world to give him a break, but then he answers.

“Sometimes.” Will hums at that.

“I saw her shoot guns once. It was loud.” There’s no time for Joel to respond to that, as he sees her walking back over to them. The relief is instant.

“Alright, bud. Let’s go see some horses.”

…

They walk through the town toward the stables. She’s holding the boy’s hand, and Joel is on his other side. He can see people looking a little longer at their strange trio and then, he nearly chokes on an inhale when a small hand takes his. He glances down at Will, who doesn’t even look at Joel, like holding his hand was the most natural thing in the world. Joel’s trying hard to not imagine what they look like. Like a family.

There are several foals in the grazing pen when they get to the stables, successful spring births that are now growing into the summer. Will lets go of both their hands to press up against the fence, his eyes wide as he watches the animals. Watching Will, Joel is reminded of the first time he saw horses as a boy, and he’s startled by how quickly he’s growing to like this kid. He squeezes her shoulder as she sidles up next to the boy.

“I’ll be right back.” She gives him a questioning look, but nods, becoming distracted by a peel of laughter that Will lets out when one of the foals tosses its mane back in a whinny. 

Joel heads over to the main barn and quickly finds the bucket of grain he was looking for. When he returns to them, he tentatively rests his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Will looks up at him, his face still lined with awe.

“Do you wanna see them a little closer, kid?” He knows he didn’t really have to ask, but seeing the excitement in the boy’s face is worth it. He glances at her.

“You coming?” She shakes her head, biting her lip to pin down a grin.

“You guys go on, I’ll watch.” Joel steers the boy with a palm on his back over to the gate of the pen. When they step inside the pen, Will takes Joel’s hand that isn’t holding onto the bucket, stepping back behind Joel’s legs. Noticing the intrusion, the foals are already meandering over to the pair. The closer they get, the more Will shrinks behind Joel’s hip. Joel sets the bucket down, turning and kneeling with a groan to get on the now very shy boy’s level.

“You alright, kid?” The boy shrugs. Joel brings his hand to his shoulder, giving a light squeeze.

“They’re all friendly, I promise. Just a little hungry. Here, watch.” Joel takes a handful of grain out of the bucket and holds it out in his flat palm for the closest horse. The animal lazily sidles up, nuzzling the food out of his hand. Will is watching, completely enrapt, as a smile slowly spreads across his face. The grain gone, Joel wipes his hand on his thigh before looking back at the boy.

“You wanna try?” He nods, shuffling over to the bucket and taking a handful of grain out. Joel lets the boy stand in front of him, and he brings his palm to rest under the boy’s up-turned hand as he holds out his arm for the foals. As one of the horses approaches, Will starts to back into Joel, but he puts his other hand on the boy’s shoulder, a reassurance. The giggle that Will lets out when the horse begins to eat from his palm makes Joel dizzy. He didn’t know there was joy left in this world, but he reckons that if there is, this is it. He glances over his shoulder to see her, elbows resting along the top of the fence and her chin in one of her palms. He’s not seen that kind of smile from her before. 

…

They feed the horses for a while, and Will continues to come out of his shell. By the end of their time at the stable, Joel has him stroking the foals’ manes and talking sweetly to the animals, a natural farmhand if Joel ever saw one. But as they’re walking back to the childcare center, and Will so easily holds his hand, Joel is once again startled by how quickly he slipped into this role. He’s not entirely sure if he’s comfortable with it. Sure, he looked after Ellie, but she was practically grown by the time he knew her. This is different, and it scares him. He also doesn’t understand why Will is staying at the childcare center in the first place. He’s perfect, brilliant even, if not a little shy. But then he remembers what the boy said, that he wasn’t going anywhere without her, and a whole new set of questions lights up his mind. It’s clear how much this boy means to her, and how much he loves her. But Joel knows there’s no blood relation and he’s left with no clue as to why the pair are so close. 

When they get back to the childcare center, they pause for a moment at the door and Joel’s not sure what he’s supposed to do. Will lets go of his hand, choosing instead to wrap his arms around her legs. She rubs his back. Joel can hear the boy’s murmurs though they’re muffled into her jeans.

“You’re gonna come tomorrow?” She untangles him from her legs, crouching down and holding both his hands.

“I always do, bud.” The boy huffs.

“Not always.” Joel sees the wince flash across her face, but she’s quick to hide it with a tight smile.

“Remember I told you that was just because I was in a little trouble. But I’m not gonna get in any more trouble, I promise.” Joel’s mouth gets dry, realizing exactly what “trouble” she’s referencing, but she keeps talking.

“You know, Will. It was Joel who helped me get out of that trouble.” The boy’s head whips around to look at Joel.

“You helped?” Joel swallows hard, sharing a quick look with her over the boy’s head. Her eyes are soft. He nods.

“I guess I did, yeah.” Will looks at him for just a beat longer before turning back to her.

“When are you coming tomorrow?” She laughs.

“In the afternoon, alright?” He nods, wrapping his arms around her neck for another hug before pulling away to let her stand. What Joel wasn’t expecting was for the boy to turn and wrap his arms around his legs, a hug that’s over as soon as it started.

“Thank you for showing me the horses, Joel.” The sentence comes out a bit shaky, but it still makes Joel’s heart catch. He has to clear his throat harshly before he speaks, resting his hand on Will’s shoulder again.

“You’re welcome, kid. It’s good to meet you.” With that, she takes Will’s hand and leads him inside, Joel hanging back. He’s not sure what just happened, his brain reeling in questions. He leans back against the wall of the building, scrubbing a hand down his face. He hopes she’ll have some answers. He’s startled out of his thoughts when she comes back out. He thinks she looks a bit nervous as she looks at him.

“Well, I think Will may have a new favorite.” Joel snorts at that, pressing off the wall to walk with her back to his house.

“That’s impossible, darlin. That kid is stuck to you like glue.” He catches the way her face falls at that only slightly. She clears her throat.

“I know you probably have a ton of questions. And I’d like to try to answer them, that ok with you?” He stops in his tracks to look at her, the way she’s biting her lip. He nods.

“Let’s get back to the house. You can tell me everything.”

…

They sit down at the dining table. Joel rests his elbows on the table, trying to organize his thoughts into coherent questions.

“Why– how did– what–” He takes a deep breath, trying to start over. She looks nervous. Joel clears his throat.

“From the beginning. Tell me from the beginning.” She sighs, leaning back in her chair.

“Alright, well I guess it was about two years ago now. I– we– um–” Joel is quick to take her hand in his across the table, a squeeze of reassurance. Her face softens.

“Alex and Steve and I were going on weekly raids at the time, running out and seeing what we could find. We had come across gamers before–” Joel’s brow furrows in confusion at that word and she catches it.

“You know, people who lay out bait? Someone old or injured, and then the rest of them jump you.” He nods, knowing all too well the sort of people she’s referring to.

“Well, when we saw a fucking kid in the middle of the road, we knew what we were getting ourselves into. But– I don’t know– I guess that’s my weakness– especially when they look so much like– like–” Her breath catches and Joel already knows the word, the name she’s trying to get out. He squeezes her hand again and she continues.

“Anyways, Steve and Alex stayed in the van, I got out, walked right up to him. He must’ve only been four or five? But he told me his name was Will and that he was lost. A script his adults probably told him– but I was gone, you know? This perfect little boy had me wrapped around his finger from the get-go.” She sighs, a crumpled smile across her face.

“And then, his folks appeared out of the woods on the side of the road, guns ablazing. The guys were still in the van, but I knew they had my back. I was trying to just talk to them. Told them we could work something out. Before they could even get a word in, a whole herd of infected came sprinting out of the trees. It was a fucking blur.” She pauses, taking a sharp inhale.

“His mom went down fast, god– the scream he let out– shook me to my knees. He tried to run to her but I grabbed him, hoisted him onto my back, told him to close his eyes. Steve and Alex came barreling out, took out a bunch of them, but it wasn’t enough. His dad got taken down too– there were just too many of them.” 

“It was a struggle just to get back in the van. We got knocked down by one– I was trying to hold onto him and fight this fucking thing off of us– total clusterfuck– but we made it, somehow– hauled ass out of there.” 

“He was sobbing so hard, I thought he’d pop a lung or something. Screaming for his mom– I just held him, it was all I could think to do as we drove.” She sighs, and Joel thinks he knows where this is going.

“He was bit, wasn’t he?” She presses her lips into a firm line, nodding.

“Fucker got him on his side– pfft, Steve and Alex wanted to drop him right then and there. But I– I couldn’t, Joel. Not when he– he looked so much like– god I wish I could show you a photo because it’s scary, really.” The first tears fall silently as she looks at him.

“I told them to give it a day, just give me one day to see. I sat in the van with him all night and all day while Steve and Alex camped outside. And I prayed– for the first time, I prayed– and the next day, Will still hadn’t turned.” She lets out a humorless laugh.

“I told him I would take care of him from then on, and I– I brought him home.” Joel’s trying to picture it, her stepping out of a van with a crying child in her arms for all of Jackson to see, and it finally makes sense.

“That’s why people call you the saint? What you did, when you came back? Isn’t it?” She offers him a small smile, but shakes her head.

“Not after Will. He was the first, but he wasn’t the last.” Joel’s eyebrows shoot up. She huffs.

“There was a string of kids afterwards, all the same situation. Gamer bait. Everytime I came back with another, people’s voices got a little more hushed around me, a little more reverent. That’s how that name stuck to me.” She pinches the bridge of her nose, eyes scrunching shut.

“But Will was different?” She sighs again, squeezing Joel’s hand.

“Will was different, is different. Those other kids all got adopted. But Will– he’s mine, Joel.” He lets go of her hand, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs.

“So then– why doesn’t he– why don’t you–”

“Why don’t I keep him with me?” Joel nods. She frowns deeply, looking down at her hands now clasped on the table.

“It’s better this way. As you know I’m, uh, prone to trouble. I’ve tried to get him to go with other families, but he’s stubborn, just flat out refuses.” She shakes her head. Joel lets out a gruff exhale.

“He should be with you.” “Joel.”

“No. I know it’s not my place–”

“It’s really not.” “But, Christ, I’ve only met him once and I can tell you that you’re it for him.”

“So I should just have him shack up with me and Alex and Steve then?” 

“No, he would stay with us, here.” Joel is saying it before he even knows what he’s doing. Her eyes widen at that. He knows it’s presumptuous as hell, not even sure if he’s ready to take something on like that. But, he figures, for her he’d get ready. She stays silent and he lets out another huff.

“Family should be together, that’s what I think.” She sighs at that, dragging a hand through her hair. Joel swallows thickly before continuing.

“I know you don’t like me saying this, but there’s no need for you to be– prone to trouble– like you say.” She scoffs at his words.

“Joel.” He brings his palms flat down on the table, standing his ground.

“No. You– you’re not disposable, darlin. And you’re not somebody’s science experiment, seeing how many times you can take it and get back up. Goddamnit, there are people here who– who need you.” He gulps an inhale after finishing speaking. It’s the truth, and it frightens him. Her eyes are still wide, not leaving his. He sighs and continues.

“Look, you’re gonna do what you want to, lord knows. But– family should be together– s’what I believe.” He seems to have left her speechless, her eyes searching his face. She finally clears her throat, rubbing her palms down her thighs before standing. She shuffles over to stand between his legs, bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. He lets his palms drop heavily on her hips.

“That’s a lot to take in, Miller.” He huffs, looking up at her.

“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it, darlin.” She smiles faintly dipping down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, but when she stands back up Joel can see the worried crease between her brows.

“I’ll think about what you said, really. Thank you for letting me, um, share him with you.” Joel smiles broadly at that, nodding and squeezing her hips. 

“Can I ask who else knows? About Will being like you?” She lets out a long exhale.

“Just the guys, and Maria. She thought I was crazy when I brought him back, but she helped me keep it secret, keep him safe. And now I guess you know as well.” Joel nods, slowly standing and sliding his hands up to cup her jaw, laying a kiss on her lips.

“I’m on your team, darlin. That means I’m on his too.” She smiles, leaning in for another kiss before pulling back and rubbing her palms up his chest.

“I’m really glad I’ve got you, Joel Miller.”

…

“Alright, kid. You ready?” Ellie nods to Alex who gives a few experimental buzzes of his makeshift tattoo gun before dipping it down to her forearm and getting to work. Joel can’t believe he’s letting her do this. When she had asked - more like told - him about getting a tattoo over the scars on her arm, Joel had balked immediately, a firm no on the tip of his tongue. Just as they started to argue about it at the dining table, she had come in, his woman, bandage gone from her arm where she had been bitten and a fresh design scrawled over it, a hare mid-leap across the length of her forearm. With some backup, Ellie had won that argument, but with the stipulation that Joel needed to be there when it happened. He wasn’t sure why that made him feel better, maybe a false sense of control. But now, watching Alex get to work, Joel finds himself getting a bit queasy at the sight.

It’s clear to him that Ellie is trying to look tough, biting her lip and furrowing her brow as she looks anywhere but at Alex’s work. Joel leans forward from his chair at their kitchen table and squeezes her knee, doing his best to offer her a small smile and firm nod that it’s alright. Both of their attention is drawn away from the ever-buzzing gun as someone clears their throat, their heads whipping around to see her leaning up against the doorframe.

“How’s it coming along, kid?” Before Ellie can respond to her question, Alex is chiming in, eyes still focused on his work.

“Sitting like a champ. A lot less squirmy than you are.” She scoffs, pressing up off the doorframe to step closer, bending over a bit to get a better look at Alex’s work as she rests her hand on Joel’s shoulder. Meanwhile, Ellie has a proud grin spread wide across her face. She smiles back at the girl.

“It looks great, Ellie. Gonna look even cooler than me.” That makes Ellie laugh, effectively distracting her from Alex’s continued needling. Watching them interact, Joel swears his heart swells at the sight, how easily she seems to be able to talk with Elliel, and how clear Ellie’s admiration for his woman is. 

Joel is jolted out of his fond musings when she gives his shoulder a squeeze.

“Is it alright if I steal him for a second?” Ellie snorts, nodding lightly.

“Uh, yeah. He’s the one making me all nervous.” Joel huffs at that, grumbling at the kid’s smug expression as he gets up. Before he follows her out, he thinks better of it, turning around and clearing his throat to get Alex’s attention.

“Forearm only. I don’t want her coming home with any other ink, understand?” Ellie rolls her eyes, but Alex nods.

“Heard, Miller. No wandering tattoo gun.” Satisfied with his response, Joel turns back to his woman, following her to what had been her room in the house she shared with Alex and Steve. 

He still remembers the day they spoke in here, after he found out about her immunity. It looks a bit different now. Most of her books have been moved back over to his place, along with her clothes. There’s hardly anything in the room now, just a lamp and a mattress on the floor with no sheets on it. His heart kicks up at the thought that this isn’t her home anymore, not really. Her home is with him.

She sits down on the edge of the mattress and Joel joins her with a groan, leaning back on his hands as he studies her.

“What’s going on?” She rests her cheek on her shoulder, turning to look at him.

“I thought some more about what we talked about. About Will.” Joel nods, but stays silent. That conversation happened two weeks ago now, but this is the first time she brings it up again. He knew better than to press her about it, that she’d come to him when she was ready to talk more. He knows her now. Knows when to speak, and when to stay silent. When to press, and when to let her come to it in her own time.

She lets out a long sigh before continuing.

“I think you’re right, Joel. I want Will with me– with us.” He feels his eyebrows shoot straight up his forehead at her words. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected her to so easily agree with him. It’s not like she ever had before. But he doesn’t voice that particular thought, instead leaning forward to wrap his arm around her shoulder and lay a kiss at her temple.

“Think that’s a good idea, darlin. How does this all work then? How do we get him?” She leans a little further into his side, head resting on his bicep.

“Usually, when folks– adopt, I guess– there’s a trial period. The kid might spend a few nights with the family, make sure the situation will work out. I guess that’s our next step.” Joel’s mind gets stuck on the word family, repeating it until it’s flooding his whole system. She takes his other hand in both of hers, keeping her eyes trained there as she runs her fingers over his knuckles.

“I asked Maria to start rotating me into shifts at the stables. Gonna be doing less patrol work. Less trouble, you know?” Hearing this is when Joel knows that she really means what she’s telling him, that she really wants this, wants them, and wants Will. He pulls back slightly, coaxing her to look up at him.

“Less trouble is good. It’ll be good for him too. To have you closer to home.” He takes a breath, and then says something else before he can really think about it.

“Think Ellie will like having a little brother.” It’s presumptuous as hell, and he worries that he’s crossed a line by saying it, but the bright smile she offers him is quick to calm his nerves. 

“I think so too.” She squeezes his hand in hers, and he squeezes back.

“I just hope I can be good for him.” It’s the sweetest, simplest thing he’s ever heard her say and he can’t help but dip down to press a kiss to her lips.

“You will be. We will be. Together.” 

[clairecrive]

can u make a nikolai x reader based on the song mr perfectly fine by taylor swift?

Mr Perfectly fine

A/n: Ahh, thank to you friend, I've been jamming to this song every day lmao Hope I've done it justice x Also, I've left out some parts of the lyrics to make it better fit the story.

(if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist here)

for my other masterlists, you can find them on my navigation page

Word count: more than 7K (ikik it took a life of his own, what can I say)

Warnings: bit of fluff, angst (like a lot), character's death, spoiler if you haven't read Siege and Storm

Tagging: @jupiterandbutterflies (Thank you so much for your comment! I saw it and it made my day✨)

(I don't remember where I took this from so if you know pls lmk)

Most people knew of Nikolai Lanstov. He was a prince, the second born and the most charming. Most people knew him thanks to the countless rumours that went around at court: supposedly he was not of royal blood. "Sobachka" was what they called him.

No matter how though, everyone knew of the last Lanstov prince. But very little knew him.

Meeting him wasn't difficult. Since he had been of age, Nikolai had always been out of the Grand Palace and among people. He’d also volunteered to enlist in the first army, refusing any kind of special treatment and fought beside his brothers in arms in the infantry. That was part of the reason why everyone outside the court loved him so much.

Being Grisha meant that fighting in the Second Army was mandatory. Not that you minded. There was nothing you wanted more for your people than to finally be free. Also, that Shadow Fold needed to go and as the Darkling has always said, all efforts are necessary.

That’s how you met Nikolai the first time. Generally, the First and the Second Army were stationed in different parts of the campsite. Numerous quarrels between oprichniki and Grisha had rendered the separation necessary. However, you never liked crowds much and living in the Little Palace meant that you were always surrounded by people. So, every chance you had to draw away and be by yourself for a while, you took it. Also, being a Healer meant that you’d spent more time in your assigned tent taking care of soldiers than among them.

Word had gone around that everyone in need could come to you. Usually, you had been instructed by the Darkling that your powers were reserved for Grisha. However, what good was it to have the ability to cure people and only take care of a selected few that very rarely got seriously injured? Meanwhile, soldiers of the First Army often suffered from severe injuries, fatal gunshots or knife wounds. You could help them and possibly save their lives so why shouldn’t you?

That was why Nikolai found you one night. Sure at that point it was just another nameless soldier to you. He had never been in your tent before so you had never seen his face before. The boy whose arm he had draped on his shoulders though, was a usual visitor of yours.

“Oh, Petyr, what happened this time?” gesturing to his blond friend to lay him down on the table, you started gathering everything you needed. Not that you needed much but you had found out that Petyr was absolutely incapable of bearing having his bones or injuries in general repaired without having some kind of pain reliever before.

After a few tries, you came up with a herbal composition that dulled the pain but didn’t make him unconscious. Using kvas would mean that Petyr would be knocked out for a couple of hours. That would put him in trouble with his superiors.

“He’s a fool, that’s what happened.” The explanation came from his friend after he put him down gently. Despite his words, you could hear in his tone worry and guilt?

“If saving your life makes me a fool then go ahead and call me one,” Petyr huffed in pain.

“Who knew you were so brave, uh?” After quickly shredding the herbs you needed, you poured hot water on it and brought the cup to Petyr’s lips while helping him keep his head up.

“He’s the bravest of us all,”

“If I knew it took a bullet wound to make you hand out compliments so easily, I would have done it sooner.” Scoffed Petyr after sending you a thankful look.

“See? What did I tell you? A fool,” his friend said dramatically and you smiled amused at their playful banter.

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?” You said out loud to warn both Petyr and his friend. Letting them know what was about to happen was best, your experience taught you. Both for the person on the table that could brace themselves for what was about to happen and for the person with him that was filled with worry and cautiousness. Oprichniki didn’t trust Grisha that much.

After assessing the damage, you let out a relieved sigh as the bullet had gotten through and it had not hit any major artery. It had already got infected though, so you knew it would be a painful one to treat.

“So, did you receive any letters lately, Pety?” You ask, suggestively wiggling your eyebrows while your hands cover the wound. You had your eyes closed to better focus but you were sure that he had rolled his eyes.

“Only from my mum.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t write her back,” you said, opening your eye just in time to send him a glare.

“Ugh, not this again, y/n, please. Have mercy on me, I’m bleeding all over the table.” Petyr moaned making his friend snicker.

“You’re not bleeding all over the table and if you didn’t notice, I’m already taking care of you, am I not? That doesn’t excuse you for being an idiot, though.”

“Are you two in cahoots or something? It’s not fair. Wounded man over here.”

“Oh shut up.” Both you and his blond friend said at the same time. Petyr moaned once again and you sent a little amused smile to the blondie.

“Should I leave you with a cool battle scar? Maybe acting like a war hero will give you the balls to write to her.” You harmlessly threatened him but your hands were already reconnecting the tissue of his skin without letting it scar.

“I’ve told you, y/n. She deserves better than what I can give her. I am, who knows if I even make it home? I’d be only stringing her along.” Now Petyr was dead serious. It was true, you had talked about this often since he was a regular you got to know him better and he had soon told you about his sweet Katia.

While his friend chanted “fool” like a mantra in the background, you took his bloodied hand in yours, his wound fully healed.

“Petyr, how do you think she’s gonna react when she learns that there hasn’t been any delay to her letters but you’re just ignoring her? Besides, you should let her make this decision too. Who knows, she’ll surprise you.” Squeezing his hand you turned to let your words settle and to put away your utensils. You knew you had given him so much food for thought so you didn’t address the subject anymore. His friend helped him off the table and that’s when you noticed that he was injured too. He had a pretty nasty cut on his lower lip and there was already a bruise forming on his temple.

“Petyr, you can sit on my chair while I take care of your friend. You should be fine but for at least a while don’t stress your body.”

Mentally making a list of the things you need to tend to this kind of wound and where you kept them, you started collecting before heading back to them.

Petyr had sat down but his friend was still standing.

“You don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to, but unless you don’t want me to go take a ladder or something, it would be best if you sat on the table.” You gave him your best reassuring smile as you mixed the healing paste. Sometimes, men didn’t like to put themselves in a vulnerable position with someone they didn’t know and had learned to fear. He wasn’t that badly hurt and it would only take a couple of seconds to fix but not every oprichniki was comfortable with being healed by Grisha power. So the paste would do your job for you. It would take longer, sure and it would also sting a lot more but at least he’d be healed at last.

After looking at you for a little while, the blond man did as you instructed, giving you a dazzling smile in return when you settled between his legs to fix his cut.

“The name is Nikolai or handsome if you prefer.” It was not the first time a wounded soldier tried to flirt with you. IT didn’t bother you, you found them amusing more than anything and you knew it was the allure of someone taking care of them speaking more than any real interest.

“Let’s hope you won’t be around here much for me to learn your name.”

“I’ll have to find another way to make myself unforgettable then.” He winked at you before hopping off the table.

You didn’t address his words, only gave them the paste you had prepared. It would prevent any wound from being infected and would be able to cure small cuts and bruises if applied for a couple of days. With that, you sent them both on their way. Petyr waving you goodbye while Nikolai sent you another wink.

And so this was how it all started.

Mr. "Perfect face"

Mr. "Here to stay"

Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

Everything was right

Despite your fellow Grisha, military life could be a bit alienating. Which sounded like a paradox, sure, but everyone had their own way of processing trauma and emotions and of course there were plenty of those during the war. If the best way to come to terms with everything that happened was to distance yourself from others and try to find the solution in solitude, it could get to the point where you’d feel alone in a room full of people.

To get a little respite, you’d usually go on a long walk or resort to stargaze. Sometimes, depending on where you were posted, it wasn’t safe to leave the campsite. So, that’s how Nikolai found you one night. Even he had to take a breather once in a while. Being a different version of yourself based on who you’re interlocutor was must be exhausting. Of course, you didn’t know this. You knew nothing about Nikolai at that point if not that he was Petyr’s friend and a socialite, according to other soldiers.

He seemed to be at the centre of gossip no matter what group of people you found yourself with and there also seemed to be a consensus about him. Everyone liked him. Even if it was rare for some Grisha to appreciate oprichniki, you knew they somewhat respected him because if they didn’t praise him out loud, they didn’t speak ill of him either.

“Not a fan of crowds, are you?” he announced his presence before sitting down beside you.

“I love them, I really do. It’s just that sometimes it gets too much.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel.”

“You do? Everyone seems to think you’re a socialite.”

“It’s what I want them to think but alas, I enjoy being more complex and multifaceted than that.” He lightly bumped your shoulder with his, eyes aflame with mischief.

“I bet.” you simply smirked. Despite how everyone seemed to think they knew him, you got the peculiar vibe from him, like there was a lot more to him than what he let everyone see.

“No one seems to know much about you.”

“Maybe you’ve talked to the wrong people.”

“Well, then I guess it’s better if I got straight to the source, don’t you think?”

“That will surely be a better start. Not sure you’ll find what you’re looking for though.”

“We’ll see.”

That night had been the first of many. It had become a sort of an unspoken arrangement between the two of you. While it didn’t last long, you sensed that you got to know him better than everyone. There was something about late nights meetings under the stars that prompted deep and meaningful conversations. It wasn’t hard to form a solid bond with him after a few nights.

The conversations weren’t always personal in the conventional sense. You’d often stray and talk about the most bizarre things. Like why something had the name it had or how cool it’d be if it was possible to pass through surfaces, which led to imagine all the uncomfortable situations one could find themselves in if they were to simply go into a room through its wall.

Nikolai was witty, overly confident and ambitious and he knew a lot of things. You always wondered how he had learned them since he was so young and been in the army for a couple of years already. But Nikolai was never too forward on certain topics, his family and childhood being some of those. You understood, those were sore subjects for you too. So you never insisted. It was much more interesting to listen to him rumble about impossible future projects of his, like a flying ship.

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." He’d say whenever you’d point it out to him. Somehow, despite the absolute absurdity of them, the sheer confidence that he seemed to constantly exude, made you consider the possibility of his success.

You got the distinct feeling that there was nothing this man couldn’t do.

But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"

Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it's wonderful to see that you're okay

But, alas, as all things do, these encounters of yours also got to an end. You knew it would happen, you were both soldiers so your lives were both heavily characterised by uncertainty after all. However, you were not prepared for it to end so abruptly though. And without an apparent reason. Because Nikolai’s unit hadn’t been posted elsewhere and he hadn’t been fatally wounded. You would have heard of it were that the case. But it wasn’t.

You thought that he had come to cherish your nightly encounters too. Some of those had been full of his promises. How he’d love for you to be around when he’d eventually find the time to work on his ideas. How you had been a nice surprise, a most interesting person among so many dull idiots you were surrounded by every day. How he’d come to value your opinions and presence in his life and that he was going to find a way to make sure that that would never change. Promises that turned to be empty.

You had never allowed yourself to fully believe him. It wasn’t the first time that a boy had made the same kind of promises but Nikolai looked sincere. Honest enough to be believable. But, of course, you had been wrong.

You didn’t realise just how much you had come to rely on him until he was gone. You tried to keep your mind off him and luckily the perfect distraction came your way. The Darkling had scheduled an attack on the enemy’s army and had posted you to be on the field to take care of everyone promptly. You had never been more grateful to the man, even after he had given her a home and a purpose.

Ever since your first encounter with Nikolai, you had thought it had been a blessing. However, you had soon changed your mind and now considered a curse more than anything. Why? Because as soon as you got to the field you couldn’t help but scour the troops for a familiar mop of blond hair. Many looked like him and being this far you couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t one of them but you certainly despised the leap your heart made every time though. That was a distraction you couldn’t afford. Besides, it wasn’t smart to let your heart get involved in times of war.

The battle began, Inferni and Squallers were working together to impair the enemy’s visual so they couldn’t shoot or use their cannons while the First Army marched after them to swap in as soon as the air cleared to catch the enemy by surprise. While your role wasn’t active per se, you were a Corporalki after all, and even if you had been specifically trained as Healer, you had also got one of your friends to teach you the basics of an Heartrender’s work. You weren’t a powerful one but you could hold your ground in a fight. Especially since they weren’t expecting you. And you were still far from any real threat.

The battle dragged on and soon there were wounded soldiers that needed your attention. You hated this kind of work, it was messy and dirty and had to be quick because spending too much time on one soldier could mean dooming another to death. You were accustomed to it by now and soon found a rhythm focusing on ensuring everyone’s survival and not bothering with the aesthetic side of healing. That could be taken care of later if they wanted to.

As soon as your eyes fell onto a crouched figure you sprinted towards them. It was dirty and you didn’t recognize them but you got the feeling it was a life or death situation. Oh, how you wanted to be wrong.

The person crouching turned out to be Nikolai and he wasn’t alone. He was kneeling beside someone, Petyr.

“Where are you hurt?” you hurriedly asked as you tried to assess the damage. His uniform was dirty and full of blood but you couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Trying to answer you, Petyr opened his mouth only to let out the most gruesome gurgling sound as his respiratory tract was flooded by blood.

“He got shot in the gut.” Nikolai offered.

“Is the bullet still inside?” Opening his uniform jacket you tore a piece from his shirt to use it to put pressure on the wound.

“It’s too late,” Nikolai uttered.

“No.” You strongly refused as you removed the cloth and focused on the wound. His heart was straightening and he had already lost a lot of blood. If the bullet was still inside that it was going to be a problem, if it wasn’t then you still had a fighting chance.

“I removed it earlier.” So that was why he had lost so much blood. Nodding your head to show that you had heard him, you set out to stop the internal bleeding. Slowing his heartbeat so that it was pumping less blood and thus eased your endeavour. You were still in the middle of the field and while you were keeping up with the warfare but in the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of screaming and of gunshots getting closer. A bullet hit you in the shoulder propelling you forward over Petyr’s body. Grisha’s kefta were bulletproof so you weren’t worried for your incolumity but for the harsh movement you had made.

Leaning back, you heard Nikolai calling for you but your eyes were trained on Petyr. You tried to listen for his heartbeat but could only hear two instead of three. Nikolai, who had never left your side, immediately understood what had happened by the fall of your shoulders and the tensing of your hands.

He kept calling for you but the only thing you could focus on was that you had let your friend down. Now there will be one more family crying for a loss, another girl mourning a lost loved one. And it was all your fault. It was because of you that Petyr wouldn’t live to see another day, to write another letter or to fight another battle. It was on you.

The details of what happened next were a bit blurred. Someway you must have found your way back to the campsite. Whether you did on your own after tending to everyone else, you didn’t know. Your memories picked up after you woke up in your tent. Someone was calling your name, saying that the Darkling wanted to see you.

Mechanically you raised and made your way to the Darkling’s tent but your mind was elsewhere. Your thoughts were plagued by Petyr’s face, by that godforsaken sound he made when he tried to speak. The realisation that he was gone hit you like a wall of brick that would have made you stumble if you weren't’ sat in front of the Darkling’s desk. Whether he was speaking and stopped after seeing the forlorn look in your eyes or he hadn’t been speaking at all, you didn’t realize. You did hear him say that you were going to be posted somewhere. Under different circumstances you have said something, anything to not let him send you away. Your mind immediately went to Nikolai. You’d be leaving him behind along with the campsite.

However, you now realised that you had already lost him. Losing Petyr had been the last thing that had completely severed your bond. There was no turning back now and part of you was grateful.

Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breaking mine?

I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye

And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"

You couldn’t know, of course, but Nikolai had left not long after you did. Albeit for a different reason. He had finally earned the Major rank and as such, he took a step back from military life deciding that his skill would be better suited for a life on the sea. Assuring Ravka the supply she needed but in ways that weren’t exactly suitable for a prince but worked just fine for a privateer. And thus Sturmhond came to life.

As for you, you kept doing your job at your new post but were relieved when a letter came from the Darkling instructing that you were needed at the Little Palace. Part of you had relegated Nikolai to that part of your mind where the unmentionable was, however, a traitor thought whispered that maybe there was a chance that you could see him at the royal grounds. Sure, the possibilities were close to zero but it was still possible, right?

No.

You already were ashamed of the fact that you’re still suffering because of him. And yes, you missed him but you weren’t going to indulge the pathetic hope of seeing him again.

He doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he would have already found you. Or write you a letter if he couldn’t, but he didn’t.

You were right. You knew you were, nonetheless, the thought only brought you a bittersweet feeling.

You found the Little Palace just how you’d left it and yet it seemed changed in a way. The insane amount of work you found there waiting for you helped you drown the feeling that it was you that had changed.

Months passed this way, sometimes the Darkling would post you with him or outside the Little Palace. All in all, you’ve kept busy. When news of the little prince leaving the Palace reached you, you let it wash over you. It wasn’t like it mattered much, whether he was a few feet away or in another nation, Nikolai wasn’t part of your life either way.

When the whole expansion of the Fold happened, you were stationed at the Little Palace. Chaos and terror ensued as soon as the news reached the capital making most of the Grisha flee. Most of them went looking for the Darkling while others simply ran away and hid. You were amongst the first group.

Soon, your life was radically changed. The shift in the Darkling was palpable and it didn’t have anything to do with the scars on his face. You had tried your best to heal them and Genya to tailor them away but somehow, they could not be removed. It was an unsettling thing to realize that they didn’t take away his beauty. One could even say that they enhanced his attractiveness.

He was certainly more powerful. None of you knew what had happened in the Fold that day, just that the Sun Summoner had fled and that there were no survivors apart from him. However, as your journey in pursuit of Alina dragged on, you were soon witnesses of his newfound power.

The nichevo’ya, he called them.

He had always been immensely powerful. One of a kind. But this- this was different. And as dread settled among your group as you watched them in action, realisation sat heavily on your shoulders.

He soon found a trail and traced Alina in Novyi Zem and set out to reach the island by hiring Sturmhond’s crew. He was a famous pirate after all and despite his unreliability, the Darkling was sure that as long as he got his money, he wouldn't be a problem.

In the round trip, you didn’t see much of the captain anyway. Some members of his crew were amiable enough, particularly the Yul-Baatar twins. You had even asked Tamar to spar with you from time to time. Your lessons with Botnik were a distant memory and you knew that mastering combat training skills could increase your chance at survival.

When Alina and Mal were held captive though, that’s when Sturmhond made an appearance. He looked younger than you’d thought and there was something oddly familiar in the way he held himself. Still, you didn't talk with him much. Your job was to take care of Alina and so you spent most of your time in her room.

It wasn’t until the Darkling asked Mal to track Rusalye and consequently spent more time with Alina that you had a chance to talk with him. It was during one of your night shifts when he approached you, the Darkling had wanted some of his to always be patrolling the ship.

“What could possibly make a little thing like you be amidst this wretched company?”

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“The thrill of adventure?”

“There’s plenty of it everywhere you go if you’re Grisha, even if you just go on a stroll.”

“Is that why you follow him?”

“I owe everything to him.”

“I’m sure you realize your role in this.”

“Of course I do. I’m not some naive girl who has a crush on her general.”

“Ah, so who, pray tell, do you have a crush on then, beautiful lady?”

“You’re certainly noisy for a pirate.”

“Privateer,” he corrected you, “there’s not much to do around here is it?”

“Not if you have everyone taking care of it, no.”

“Amuse me.”

“It isn’t wise to let the heart get involved in times of war.” That was all you were willing to share. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, the twinkle in his eyes was oddly familiar but he was a stranger. A dangerous one.

“Those sound like words spoken from experience.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I’d say it’s no fun to only think about war. Life is so much more.”

“Believe me, if I could, it’d be the last thing on my mind. But, alas, l don’t have the privilege to do so.”

You had already lost too much time speaking with him. If someone were to see you or tell the Darkling you’d be in trouble. And you had made it your goal to never put yourself on the path of the Darkling’s anger. So you excused yourself and went back to your rounds.

If only you had stayed and talked to him more maybe you would have understood what was about to happen. Maybe you would have had an enkindling of Sturmhond’s plans. Instead, you were taken by surprise, just like everyone in your group, when Rusalye was spot and a shot was fired. You had found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to fight against people you had grown to like.

“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n,” Tamar warned you as you stood face to face on the sinking ship dock. Her trusted axes in her hands while your hands were raised ready to attack.

“I don’t want to hurt you either.”

“Then you don’t have to. Come with us.” Her proposition made you gasp.

“That would be treason,” you whispered hoping that the Darkling wasn’t around to hear you. A shiver ran through you as you thought of the punishment he’d give you for even thinking about leaving his side.

“Then you leave me no choice.” She said lowering her arms. Was that guilt you heard in her voice?

Before you could voice your question though, she shouted for her brother and not even a second later, you felt your body grow still. Your eyebrows faltered as you felt your heartbeat slow down.

They were Grisha.

They must have seen you realise because you heard Tamar apologize before everything went black.

Mr. "Never told me why"

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same

You didn’t stay out for long though. As soon as Sturmhond’s crew had left the Darkling’s ship and had safely made it onto the Volkvolny, the privateer had asked for you to be awakened.

There wasn’t enough light for you to realize you were on another ship, what alerted you of your new situation were your hands. They had bound them behind your back. Immediately you started to struggle, hoping to wiggle out of the restraints. To no avail though. Huffing out in frustration, you settled for looking around you and see if there was something you could use. That’s when you noticed him.

“Release me- this instant, or else-”

“Or what? You’re a Healer. Not exactly a violent job, is it?” Sturmhond interrupted you, a smirk on his face since he had the upper hand.

“I don’t need my powers to kick you in the ass, do I?” He laughed but didn’t look remotely threatened. Rather amused, actually.

“Please, you have to let me go. He’ll kill me if-” Panic started to build as you realized that there was no way you could successfully escape.

“He won’t touch you.” A solemn glow took over his eyes. “He won’t ever hurt you again, you have my word.” He promised, looking subtly at your left shoulder. You winced as you realized that he must have seen your scars. The ones left by the Darkling’s niche’voya.

“How can I know if you’re trustworthy? You don’t exactly have a good score, you know?”

“You’re going to find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

Of course, he didn’t bother offering further explanations. He’d left it at that. You weren’t a captive per se but he left your hands bound, only freeing them when you needed to eat or relieve yourself.

Fruitless were your efforts in making you tell more. He often ate with you and would check in at least twice a day but that was it.

It wasn’t until after you had landed after that forsaken vehicle of his had gotten you through the Fold that you understood. His coming out as Nikolai Lanstov, prince and second in line for the Ravkan throne, had shaken you all to your core. However, you doubted that it had sent a pang to the others’ hearts as it did with yours.

Nikolai Lantsov. The man you had been dreaming about, the one that had left you behind without any sort of explanations, the one you missed so dearly, had been by your side all this time.

You weren’t sure how you felt. It made sense now why his eyes looked familiar and his posture. You then connected that the vehicle you had used in the Fold had been one of the many projects he used to geek about with you. It tasted a lot like betrayal. Not because he had lied to you about his name but because he had tried to get close to you again and had managed to somehow break that growing bond again.

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

Even if his secret had been outed thus causing some shift in the dynamics between Nikolai and the two new members of his crew - you suspected Mal was closer to punching him every second that passed- not much had changed for you.

On the outside, you pretty much looked like a prisoner. Albeit a very clean one. You rode with them, hands still bound, scowl ever-present on your face.

Nikolai had not come to see you ever since that night after the Fold. And now it had been almost a week since you had started your journey back to the capital. Whether this was all part of his plan to make you look the part of the captive even more or he was just gutless, you didn't know. It was working either way though.

You liked to think that his reason was simply that he didn't care. He had far too much on his plate right now as it was. Going back to court after years of absence while also making claims to the throne and trying to sway the Sun Summoner your way. It was no easy feat. But hadn't he always liked to say that impossible often meant improbable? A lot of things had changed since that night but even so, you'd still pose your bet on him that he'd be able to achieve anything he set his mind to.

It wasn't exactly that thinking this way brought you actual comfort. Of course, not. But it was better than foolishly hoping for him to still care about you the way you did for him. After all, he had sent plenty of signals that pointed in the other direction.

But then why did he kidnap you? Why take you with him? You weren't that close to the Darkling to be of any use to Nikolai in that way. And, as a matter of fact, no one had come to interrogate you regarding his plans or whereabouts. Then why?

You still couldn't figure it out.

Some days your anger shifted more to frustration and you were ounces away from asking for him yourself. Almost as if he had heard you though, he gave you the final push.

It was the usual day, Nikolai and Alina were riding in the carriage, stopping in every village we passed to meet with the locals. However, this time, before climbing back into the carriage, they kissed.

You were too far to figure out who started it and the details. The gist of it was enough though.

You most certainly were a fool. Still thinking about a guy who didn't give two shits about you, who had kidnapped you putting you in a dangerous situation and you were still wondering whether he felt something for you or not? Pathetic.

You had to do something about your situation and quickly too. Officially, you were a traitor. You had fled and joined the Darkling, that wouldn't make you look good in front of the king. He was a lousy bastard anyway and will probably sentence you to death to set an example. You hadn't survived so much shit to end up at the end of a rope.

So, even though you had initially thought against it since you were so close to home, you decided to escape. You were already headed towards certain death so what was the worst that could happen?

Your hands were left unbound when you were in your tent. One less problem to solve. Closing your eyes, you focused on listening for any nearby heartbeats. You heard two, those of the guards posted outside your tent. Maybe you could find an excuse to call them inside, put them to sleep and then slip away.

That was not exactly what your powers were for but you were desperate. You had to at least try.

And so you did. You called them in and immediately set out to slow their heartbeats. You had almost succeeded in putting them under when someone else slipped in. The last person you wanted to see.

"Am I that bad of a host?"

You didn't meet his ruse though, you knew it would make you lose focus.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to release my soldiers." As soon as he said it though, they fell unconscious at last. Your chest was heaving by now, using so much power in such a different way was costing you. But you couldn't back down now. It was one on one and you were Grisha and a woman scorned. He stood no chance.

"Move out of my way, your highness."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"You can or I can make you. Your choice." The venom in your voice was unmistakable and it took him by surprise. He gave you a curious look tilting his head to the side like he was seeing you for the first time over again.

"I didn't realize ruthlessness was one of your personality traits."

"You know nothing about me," you seethed. The tip of your fingers flexed, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you were already weary.

"It may have been a while y/n, but I like to think I know a good deal about you."

"And I would like to completely erase this last year but you don't hear me yap about how shitty it has been, do you?"

"You never did like opening up much."

"I'm well past the point of sentimentalism, Nikolai. It is coming far too late anyway. And whatever my feelings for you may be, I won't let you put my life on the line." Your posture straightened, stance ready for battle.

His eyes flashed, jaw clenched. His hands closed in fists and he almost looked hurt. But why would he?

"Is that what you think all of this is?" Nikolai always acted aloof. He was always composed and dignified. You had thought it was for his insane amount of self-confidence but now you understood it was for how he was raised. But you recognised the pout on his lips. It was the expression he’d always have whenever he tried to get something from getting to him. To prevent himself from showing emotions.

"You're holding me captive while you go around Ravka parading your latest conquest, flashing your return everywhere. I don't know why you're doing this but I don't care. I've stopped waiting around for you and I certainly won't let your father put me to death."

"You think I'd let him?"

"So you want to do this?" you threw your hands up in exasperation, "Fine. You really want to know what I think?"

"Be my guest."

"I think that the Nikolai I knew would have left out of the blue without so much as a letter. I think that the Nikolai I knew was ready to go to any length to achieve what he believed in. However, I thought that the Nikolai I knew cared about me and what we had but look at me now. So maybe, I know nothing at all."

"You certainly do seem to know a lot of things. But you’re not wrong."

"If this is the way you care about me," I gesture to my tent, "then I'm not sure I want this Nikolai to care for me."

“This,” he said, emulating your gesture, “is to keep you safe. This is my way to ensure that if the Darkling got news of your whereabouts, he’d be sure not to think you willingly left his side and betrayed him.”

“That’s because I didn’t!” You raised your voice in outrage. The nerve of this man.

“Spare me your indignation. I know you hate being at his beck and call, to do his dirty work and be constantly surrounded by warfare.”

“Do not presume to speak for me.” You snapped. You knew it was best to keep a cool head but his cockiness was getting on your nerves.

“Didn’t you? Hate it, I mean.”

“We’re at war, Nikolai. Being away or close to the Darkling won’t change that. At least with him, I was safe.”

“You can’t be that delusional to think that he was protecting you.” He scoffed at your words as if they were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“And you can’t be that delusional to think that bringing me back won’t result in your father killing me.” You fired back shifting on your feet. He winced as if you had physically hurt him.

“You have so little faith in me?” His voice was just above a whisper and you knew that your words had struck a chord.

“How can I have any, Nikolai?” your voice softened a bit. “One day you’re telling me how much you value my opinion, you promise me a future where I’d be the first to see your project come to life and then you left. You just left, Nikolai.” And when I was starting to make my peace with it that’s when you come back? Also, let’s not forget about my abduction and your flirting with Alina.”

“So yes, I don’t trust you.” You concluded, crossing your arms on your chest with finality. He just stared at you for the longest time. If someone would come in now, they’d think you were in the middle of a staring contest. Then he sighed and started talking.

“I had to go away. I had already pushed my parents’ limits when I said I wanted to be part of the infantry. So, one day I got a letter written by my father personally and I knew that my time was up. I had been Nikolai for too long, now I had to start being a Lantsov prince.” His eyes were on the ground now, shame making her way in his words.

“So that’s what I did,” he went as he started pacing,”I went to Kerch to study, just like my father wanted. I did what he asked, he couldn’t reproach me anything now. I could never stay too still though, a life of adventure was calling me and I could not ignore it. It was only then that I realized that I could do so much more than sitting in a class, to realistically help Ravka.”

“I couldn’t take you with me. You had such a larger role to play in the army and besides, there wasn’t much I could offer you. So yes, I left. I left thinking that I would find my way back to you eventually.” He had stopped by now, regret was swirling in his shining orbs as he looked at you.

“You could have told me.” You contestated, taken back by all the information he gave you. “I would have waited for you.” A whispered promise for something that would never be now.

“I was afraid, y/n. That’s not my best moment, I know and no number of apologies could ever make it right. But I was afraid of your answer. I knew I’d be asking for a lot and let’s be honest-” the desperation in his tone was evident now, he had unconsciously started to lean towards you but you knew what he was about to say.

“You weren’t sure if the future you were offering me would just end up with me being your mistress, am I right?” Your tone hardened but despite the insulting implication of what you said, you weren’t made at him.

“I’m a prince, y/n. We do not marry for love and this country cannot afford to disregard the advantages that a political union could bring.”

His honesty was as refreshing as it was unsettling. He was right. As soon as you had learned he was a prince, you realized just what kind of future you could have with him. But then he left and that problem did not exist anymore. Neither of you spoke, both of you were seizing the other. You had laid it all out, defences were down putting you both in a vulnerable position.

And someday maybe you'll miss me

“You should have talked to me, Nikolai. We could have figured it out together. If it came to being your mistress to stay with you, then that was my decision to make.” You said softly after a while. It pained for you to say this, you would have never thought that getting closure would hurt this much.

Tears streamed on both of your faces, in front of you had been laid what your future could have looked like. It was everything you had wanted, you could still do your job and have the man of your dreams. You were surprised to find that you wouldn’t mind sharing him with his supposed wife. You had been at court for enough time to know how most marriages went. If he assured you it was only a diplomatic affair but that his heart was yours, that would have been enough. Who knows, maybe she’ll get a lover too.

But now… now you didn’t know if you could ignore everything that happened. You did not trust him nor could you ignore how hurt you were by his lack of communication and thus of trust in you.

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

[inbetweener047]

Inbetweener here! This one took awhile, but as promised, new entry in the series "look mom, no shame!" is finally here So, as I like to do, here is a short yapping session about what and how and why I did: This piece, aside from an older unfinished one, is the longest I made. Main reason is rendering because I can't for the love of me, stop doing more detailed rendering when it comes to characters (backgrounds, evidently, not so much) I started doing colours and painting this Bull three times over, the first two looked too glassy and dim and overall missing the mark in portraying something resembling living mass. Not to say the end result succeeded tremendously, but it is much better than what it looked like before. I went with hatching here as well, that helped me to process how to show form and, consecutively, values (since my mind wasn't occupied with both values and form at the same time) Maybe I could have added more tonal variation in shadows and half-tones, but I was way behind on this piece already and had to put out something. But even under this condition I am oddly satisfied with the result on the bull since he is, compositionally speaking, the center point here. With women characters (I probably should come up with actual characters, it's so odd to call people man or woman, kind of lacks intimacy that way, relatability(?) too) situation was very similar but more manageable after I figured out the Bull. I tried not to add too much hatching, so it wouldn't make them more rigid and "constructed" if you can even describe it that way. They came out okay-ish in that way, although, the front character's feet seem to be hanging in the air. I noticed that early in the process but was too lazy it seems to fix it (just extending the work area and showing her standing on a rock would have been an okay solution) But I like how both of them turned out, it is almost of a threesome if you can call caressing someone's balls as "participating", but what do I know? I barely get one on one action myself so I won't judge that for sure! Oh, and that expression on a girl in front, I realise it is not everyone cup of tea, but that's just what my default "I am getting fucked by a giant bipedal Bull" idea of a face is. But that definitely needs to be addressed in the future, at the very least so it wouldn't get boring and predictable Background, again, the weakest part but doing abstracted landscapes is much more convincing to paint than, say, a dungeon, so end result is more or less better this time....maybe I shouldn't have made that mountain that big and have some space for air to give some space to breath I hope you like this painting, it was, while difficult, still very enjoyable to do. Small life update - health and work aside, I still aim to make more art on a more regular basis. Also I started going to life drawing sessions, which already helps me a lot, can't recommend them enough to anyone who wants to improve their art in a relatively short amount of time Ah, and I aim to open commissions soon as well, just need to figure out....how. I never done any, but hopefully, my lovely cheese based colleague, will help me to figure out the kinks (no, not those ones, those we keep to ourselves)

ANYWAY Thank you all once again and stay safe!

"There is a certain ritual among Bull Folk of the desert, it requires stamina, virality and tenacity... and volunteers to accomplish said ritual"

To see the full picture click here!

[tangy-soup]

Hii lookie! Even though I only made like 4 fully rendered pieces this year, I'm happy with what I've done this year!

(For months where I dont't have fully rendered finished pieces I put in the next closest thing I have that month.)

Ramble under the cut where I try to go over each month

General overview:

Funny thing I've noticed is how often I used cool tones this year bc my older art (that ive never shown from like 2 years ago) was characterized by warm tones

Even though I work through fully rendered pieces super slowly and barely come out of the year with any, I'm super proud of my progress this year! I've learnt and grown a lot as an artist and have also realized my potential. With that though also comes my fear of not being able to top what I've done, which I'm trying to work on! My issue is I tend to produce a lot of art when feeling highly inspired by a media, and right now I don't exactly feel the same kind of spontaneous and passionate inspiration as I did during the year. I'm definitely dealing with some sort of mental block right now when it comes to digital art and I'm hoping to get through that soon because I miss the process of making something I love through drawing!!

January:

honestly thought the boatem piece was done last year so I was surprised to find it in my January files! This piece was kind of a turning point for my art as it was my first more complex pieces (i had not previously done a piece w more than 1 character in it really). It was a lot of work and I was very nervous about it but I'm quite proud of what I was able to do!

Late january is also when i started sketching out the ethubs piece actually (i work slow)!

February:

I didn't actually do a ton of art this month, as I tend to take a break and slow down right after finishing a piece. At this point I was very keen on doing pose studies traditionally. I posted some of these and most of them were desert duo.

This month i started to really figure out my dnd character Ethe's main design as our campaign was starting. So, i did a portrait of her for that. The rest of February was working on ethubs and studying how to paint grass and clouds and just sketching here and there. I think desert duo brain rot was strongest this month

March:

March was also a mix of pose studies and random sketches and FINALLY FINISHING ETHUBS. I was also doing some art for dnd ^_^

April:

I finished the dragonborn npc centered dnd piece this month, and also began sketching out the cleo piece. In between working on cleo I did some joe art including an animatic featuring the wordle boarder and the sketch for biblically accurate joe :D

May:

Pretty much anytime i had procreate open in may I was working on Cleo. This is the most ambitious art project I have taken on and I wasn't sure if I was able to make it how I wanted, so I was kind of slow and on and off with it. I ended up putting it down towards the end of the month and did some more personal illustrations

June:

Big month for my dnd blorbos tbh! I introduced a sister for Ethe and was working on her design and their interactions. I also got a bigger sketchbook this month and did a bunch of traditional studies. I finished the flats for cleo this month and took a break so most of the art I did were sketches

July:

I was in the home stretch for cleo and with the help of my friends telling me to finish it i finally pushed through and finished it. I couldnt be happier w the results!! it's one of my proudest pieces this year and I put in so much work for it. But after I finished it i took a huge break from mcyt art and focused on dnd art yet again.

August:

My work for the multidimensional big bang started this month!! I worked out the character design early august and had a sketch for the full piece by the end of the month. In the meantime I was actually working on a cat painting I never posted... maybe I'll post it in an end of year art dump

September:

This month was all about the big bang piece. I had so much fun doing it and am super proud of the finished product. Im especially happy with the composition and inclusion of the background characters!!

October:

Again. Major break from making full pieces after finishing a huge one last month. I think I spent more of my creative energy elsewhere like my writing. Also school started again and I had moved apartments and there was a lot of irl stuff preventing me from drawing. I did try to do traditional studies if I could

November:

Kind of a dead month for drawing. Super busy w school, chugging my way through Ethe's ref sheet i started months ago.

December:

Literally haven't drawn anything new besides a new years illustration for greeting cards. I picked up crocheting again and have been spending a lot of creative energy on that instead, but to keep my drawing going I've been doing more figure studies in my sketch book i guess!

[yanderenightmare]

Ok hi again, I may be over doing it......idgaf I like ur shit! Good shit grade A writing. Aha

Aftercare, does it happen? What do they do?

Also....are these guys aware of their s/o limit if so do they stop😈

Pressing X for doubt

yandere ! BNHA thirsty headcannons

Support me at KO-FI if you feel like it<3

goodiebag WARNINGS: yandere, noncom/dubcon, abuse, manipulation, mind control

BAKUGO KATSUKI - KACHAN

He’ll at least ask. He’s always careful to ask. The actual response isn’t too important. Protest that are drowned out in a moan can’t be seen as an actual protest anyway, and he always makes sure that her words are chocked in her throat. Bakugo knows his worth, he knows that each and every thing he does to her in that bed, it’s guarantied she likes it. Her pride makes her a liar, she can’t be trusted with her own pleasure, not when he knows and has proven time and time again that he knows her body and her limits better than what she does. When he has her bent over his lap, that cute little ass that he knows belongs to him, aiming to make sure that she knows it too, each time his hand comes in harsh contact with the soft flesh, feeling it up like putty in his hand as she winces and cries for him to stop. Her protests can’t be taken seriously, not when two fingers gliding up her pussy tells him all he needs to know, feeling how soaked she already is for him, all warm and velvety and ready. That’s all the answer he needs to keep going.

As far as aftercare goes… it can vary. Sometimes he’ll draw a bath with bubbles and lavender oil and light scented candles. Other times he’ll make food, where he’ll bake desserts more than anything. But there are days he won’t do much more than keep a painfully suffocating grip on her as he drifts rather quickly off to sleep. Exchanging no words except for those growls of good night and I love you. Leaving the rest for after they wake up, having an early morning where he’ll never let her sleep in, dragging her with him to shower before he has to leave, where afterwards he’ll treat her to more tender care on the bed with his face buried between her thighs in a way of apologizing for having to leave her alone all day.

DABI - TODOROKI TOUYA

She shouldn’t worry her pretty little head about anything. Dabi might look like your worst nightmare, but you’d be surprised how soft the darkness really is. He can be persuasive and disarming if and when he wants to be, or he can be foul… He likes finding a mix between the two though, they work better together anyway. Make her feel safe, but only if she obeys, and make her feel fear if she doesn’t. He won’t bite… at least not for any longer than to make her cry for him, for those precious little water-works to bubble up to the surface. Making a chew toy out of that pretty swan-neck of hers, paint it with purple, resembling what hue of mulberry-wine found on his marred skin. Nibbling on that cute button between her legs, feel her tremble in his hold and hear her gasp out his name. Or grinding those perfect little nipples between the rows of his teeth, watching her blubber out her pleas when the pressure he applies threatens to bite the flimsy nib off, feel her pussy clench around his shaft upon the anticipation and fear. Fear does such peculiar things to people, especially in the form of threats, especially when walking hand in hand with pleasure. His darling doesn’t know what to make of herself, left completely like putty in his hands, all for him to toy with and tamper and tease. Where she doesn’t dare try and make him stop, she doesn’t dare allow herself to enjoy what he’s doing either, because only mad people run into things they already know to be a trap.

He’ll hush and coo at her to stop crying afterwards, her little mind on the verge of breaking and her pitter patter heart standing on the cliff’s edge ready to jump with nothing but Dabi to hold onto, the knot in her lower abdomen already having exploded time and time again because of him. She’s such a mess, such a cross-eyed wet hot mess, his little mess and that always manages to bring a smile to his face.

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

If Tomura’s in a mood, as in a childish fit, she can expect no rest, because the wicked as we know get no rest, and the unfortunate sweet thing kidnapped by the wicked get no rest either. Tomura’s mood, quite like his morals, change like tidewater. Sometimes he’ll behold her precious beautiful body as though she’s made up of fine porcelain, meant to be touched and worshipped softly, where the fact of her wanting the worship or not is irrelevant. He’ll still touch and touch and let himself get carried away by how insanely soft her skin is as opposed to him. He’ll fuck her slowly, each hump meaningful and hauled out to the max as so to feel every single inch of him filling her up… Then there’s his other mood… The feeling of opposition is no less there, how unfairly gorgeous she is in contrast to how appalling he is, however… instead of it evoking worship… it evokes humorous triumph. Gut-wrenching nasty despicable satisfaction, where it brings him such inane pleasure to think that someone as disgusting as him has the power and the will to corrupt something so pure, something so pretty, and how there is quite literally nothing she can do to stop him, nothing at all… it gets his blood rushing in sadistic glee when he pushes her down on her stomach, fisting her hair while jutting into her from behind, every little salacious depraved thought growled into her ear, with no regard to her choked screams except for a wild grin, spiked to go even faster.

Not much tender aftercare here I’m afraid, he thinks it’s best to leave her alone, getting in his chair to game, taking one long last look at his cum seeping from her hole, his handprint red across her ass, still looking so pretty even with all those bruises… maybe even inspired to go for another round.

SHINSO HITOSHI

Aww. Little kitty is at her breaking point? The collar is too tight for Master’s precious pretty pet? Pussy-cat wants a break? But good kittens deserve good toe-curling eye-crossing world-shattering rewards, and bad kittens will be punished however Master chooses, won’t they? If she screams no, he’ll hear yes. If she screams stop, he’ll hear more. If she screams please, well… he’ll still hear please… It’s so unbearably cute to see her stutter and frustrate over how her words come out all wrong, as if someone’s picked her brain, pulled on her strings as though she were a puppet, changed what she wants to say, to what he wants to hear. What’s even cuter is when those large eyes of hers go all ditzy, crossing paths, that crinkle between her brows furrowing, with her tongue falling over her lips. But, the cutest thing is when her tail wraps around his thigh and leg, holding onto him in such a soft embrace when her bliss strides over her body, reaching all the way to the tip of her plushy soft tail, when her wrists and ankles are too busy being kept tied snug and firm together, as he continues to slam himself fast-forwardly into her.

He’ll erase his mind-tricks afterwards, careful to restore anything he might have disturbed or broken during their playtime. Her fluffy tail still slithered around his thigh as he pets her over her soft ears, telling her what a good little kitten she is and how proud she’s made him, feeling her shiver and jolt against him, small little spasms followed by short acute hiccups, proof of how bendable those so-called limits are when Hitoshi takes control. Proof of how good he can make her feel, so good she loses track of where she is, so good she loses contact with her mind, so good the only thing she’s still able to do is purr.

TAKAMI KEIGO - HAWKS

Oh… She can’t blame him when his rut rolls around the corner. He can’t control those urges. Not when she’s there, so plain and defenseless and a perfect fit for him to take all that cooped up frustration out on. He just needs to fill her each and every crevice up with his seed, make sure she’s well bred, pump her full of his cum until his balls no longer have anything left to give. He’ll hump like a frenzied pup, hands gripping her hips so tight her feet don’t even touch the ground. He’ll pound until he’s exhausted, until she’s left a swollen sweat-slicked mess, no longer able to stand straight without her weak and wobbly knees giving out beneath her. She wishes his rut and her heat could line up, so she doesn’t have to go through the same thing twice, but she isn’t that lucky, and Keigo is. He’ll be counting down the days until finally picking up those sweet tones in the air, that aroma that makes him go feral. She does him a favor by acting so shy, so ashamed, it makes it that much more fun when she’s struggling against both him and herself. All it takes is for him to put his thumb in her mouth… how she’ll begin to drool at the very first taste, her eyes losing that feral fight and falling prey to the feeling of her nerves being set on fire. He gladly indulges her needs, his heart fluttering at how clingy she becomes, how sweet, blubbering out gibberish, shapeless words that are such a good replacement for what vile things she’ll yell at him most other times.

He’ll be so hungry in the mornings after, disappointed for the lack of food in the house, but he can’t blame his darling for not cooking, not when he’s rendered her lame, she can’t very well cook if she can’t stand. He’ll order so much take-out the smell of sweat and juices soon gets coated and overwhelmed by the smell of spice and broth. Eating, regaining all his strength… that was only day one of two weeks… the rut is only just beginning.

MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU

Don’t worry, Izuku knows how much to give and how much to take, just as he knows when to give it and when to take it, and how to give and how to take. He knows what punishment is due for what crime as well as he knows when rewards are in order. And if he so happens to need to punish her… he’ll make sure she does something in need of punishment. It’s not often he needs to act on those sadistic carnal vulgar yearnings, but a bad day gets a whole lot better if he can come home and take it out on someone, especially when he gets to play with her beforehand, poke and prod until she slips up, allowing him to pounce on her the second she fucks up like a fox finally done playing with his food, his little bunny. The ends justify the means after all. He knows that it’s unfair to take his frustration out on his little darling… but… it being wrong… somehow makes it feel better. Having her blubbering on choked sobs and quaking beneath him, under his blood-soaked scarred hands, her little hole serving as such a snug and no doubt painful fit for his cock to abuse. Hearing her apologize for doing absolutely nothing at all, just to satiate his craze, all because he decided he wanted to exercise his dominance.

One thing that’s good about Izuku is that once is enough, and though that one time might feel like a million times stretching over a million days, where she’s left unable to walk properly… once he’s done, she can be sure he’s done… at least until the next day. If she hasn’t passed-out, he’ll let her cry it off when he’s done, offering no words but still comforting her by stroking her back or fiddling with her hair, twirling it about his fingers as she rests on his chest, her tears making his bicep itch with irritation, but he’ll allow her that much.

CHISAKI KAI - OVERHAUL

He tries being sweet, he tries being gentle, he tries mimicking the same type of softness as his darling bestows upon him, yet… although she’s sweet, she’s also so aggravatingly reluctant, and Kai doesn’t have the time nor the patience to second-guess every single little thing he wants to do. It’s impractical, it’s wasteful, it’s stupid, and stupidity as we know is a disease he can’t risk being infected with. No, better then, for him to just take the lead, for him to make the decisions for her, for him to decide her limits, up to him to decide when she’s ready to take his cock, how fast and hard he can thrust into her, how tight he can grip her wrists when she starts pushing at him, how many bruises are too many, how many times she can cum. Besides, if things go too far… he knows how to piece her together again. He hasn’t studied every single detail of her just to let all that valuable information go to waste. He’ll see to it that she’s as good as new once their done, if not, maybe even better, maybe even less reluctant to give into what he wants next time, maybe a bit more respectful of the rules, maybe a bit more understanding of who there is the boss and who there is the brittle brainless little toy.

Pain is a good cleanser anyway, despite it being bloody and gory and mixed in with tears and drool and snot and whatever else may occur once the need for his quirk arrives after his aggression causes something to bruise or break. She might think that it’s cruel that healing her has to hurt more than the wound itself, but what she needs to learn is that prosperity always comes at a price, a price that he’s all too willing to pay when she fails to live up to her potential.

TODOROKI SHOTO

Limits are made to be broken, to be conquered, in order for us to prosper. She should be grateful she at least gets the liberty to be with the one she loves, the one who loves her. She should at least be grateful that it’s not just anyone who’s breaking her limits, but him. Him and his hands and his tongue and his cock and his frostbite and his flames and his smile and his biting laughter. She knows by now that there is no stopping him when he starts, she knows that her only hope is to wait for herself to achieve that opium-blown ecstasy and ride that insanity where her skin feels like fire and her insides like ice and every touch, no matter how feather-light or how brutish and bruising, is god’s touch.

Shoto is unprecedentedly thorough and dreadfully talented at aftercare. While his darling is lying all limp and numbed-down, holding onto the prickling feeling dancing like fire-ants on her skin, she can barely even capture the feeling of Shoto wrapping her up in a fuzzy robe. His cold lips pressing onto her forehead and by the time she comes to, when she finally and woefully breaches the surface and gets reeled back into reality, right when she’s at the verge of collapsing from having all her hormones crash, her adrenaline fizzing out into nothing and she’s left feeling all cold and so dreadfully sad, Shoto’s right there, making her feel warm and appreciated and safe. He’ll light candles, scented with rosehip, he’ll already have picked out a movie, he’ll have the chocolate ready, the tea brewing in their matching cups, swiftly braiding her hair into a neat loose setup to keep it from falling into her face as he knows she’s much too drained to lift her hand, resting between his legs, her head using his chest as a headrest. If he’s being honest, he isn’t quite sure what he loves more, the play-session or the aftercare, all he knows is that one is impossible without the other… yet again proving the importance of balance.

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